Sean Avery Could Help the Toronto Maple Leafs

February 5, 2009 · Print This Article

by Martin Avery…

Are ex-Ranger, ex-King, ex-Stars Sean Avery’s 15 minutes of fame up yet? I don’t think so! Before the trade deadline, the Leafs could take him and make him a hometown hero.

A movie is in the works about one of the sexiest men alive who is also the most hated hockey player in the NHL.

People love to hate Sean Avery.

Sean Avery is the most controversial player in hockey today. Avery the agitator is one of the NHL’s most feared players. He was recently Broadway’s biggest star. The self-made hockey hero is getting almost as much attention as Sid the Kid.

He is widely recognized for his fiery temper and spirited play, which has made many enemies in many NHL locker rooms.
His Hollywood agent is contemplating his comeback.

Meanwhile, he is suspended for trash talk and not invited back to his new NHL team, the Dallas Stars.

People magazine featured him in their 2007 Sexiest Man Alive issue, and Maxim put him at the top of their list of Hollywood Hookups. He also made People magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful People issue, which is a rare honour for a hockey player. He’ has been an intern for Men’s Vogue.

The NHL suspended Avery for six games after his crude comments Dec. 2. When he was eligible to return from that, the Stars said he wouldn’t play for them again—even though he was only two months into a $15.5 million, four-year contract they are still paying.

Avery was suspended indefinitely for making disparaging remarks about his former girlfriends to the media.

He was already the most hated hockey player in the NHL. He is known as a super-pest he’s also a former league-leader in penalty minutes. His 2008 playoff antics in the crease even led to the creation of “The Sean Avery Rule.”

He was part of Detroit’s Stanley Cup-winning team of 2002. He has enjoyed three seasons of at least 15 goals since the NHL lockout of 2004-2005.

He is a speedy, bruising, power forward, with soft hands, who has won the Stanley Cup with the Detroit Red Wings, played for the L.A. Kings and the New York Rangers, and is currently suspended indefinitely from the Dallas Stars.

He had four Gordie Howe hat-tricks in his first three years in the NHL. As a hockey player, he’s best known for his skating days with the New York Rangers, when The Avery Rule was invented, and he was also the boyfriend of Elisha Cuthbert.

Because of his style of play, Avery has made many enemies in the NHL. In a 2007 poll of 283 NHL players, 66.4 percent said that Sean Avery was the most hated player in the league.

Many consider him a pest. He is a very physical player, and while some would say that he is too small to be considered an enforcer, he has acted like one on many occasions, to a certain extent.

He considers himself a fiercely loyal player, but has drawn criticism for his aggressive style and excessive penalties, however he cut down on penalty minutes by about 65 percent in ‘06-’07, compared to seasons past.

He is the Mike Tyson of hockey, the Diego Maradona…What Shane Hollywood Warne is to cricket…if not what Wilt Chamberlain was to basketball. In tennis, the superbrat John McEnroe and Illie Nastase are two names that spring immediately to mind.
In the new NHL, minus the big goons, Avery has become an enforcer, fighting anyone and everyone, and throwing everybody off their game.

In his first season in the NHL, Avery led the league in penalty minutes, with over 260. During the lockout, he went to Finland to play for the Pelicans, but then went to Detroit to play for the Motor City Mechanics of the IHL. He scored a lot of goals and got a lot of penalties, like Gordie Howe.

After getting traded from the L.A. Kings to the New York Rangers, his team was18-9-3 with Avery in their lineup and 9-13-3 without him.

He is the new Eddie Shack. But the guy they called The Entertainer, with the Toronto Maple Leafs, never got voted one of the top 50 beautiful people by People magazine, the same year as being voted Most Hated Player in the NHL, by other NHLers.
He dated Playboy and Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Rachel Hunter and Elisha Cuthbert, who plays Kim Bauer on 24.

He has made the news for fighting on the ice and for arguing off the ice.

Avery pushes the proverbial envelope. The more he does it the more he draws penalties and the more he gets media attention. How can they nab Avery for a few disgusting words?

The league tolerated Dale Hunter, Ken Linseman, Ulf Samuelsson, Bryan Marchment and Claude Lemieux’. Look at how Jarkko Ruutu, Steve Ott and Ryan Holwegg play.
Among current hockey stars, Sean Avery has been called the NHL’s most desirable bachelor.

So far, he has been romantically linked to Rachel Hunter, Lake Bell, Mary-Kate Olsen, and Elisha Cuthbert, whom he appeared with on TV’s Punk’d.

Hockey wisdom would point to Sean Avery’s 5′10″ frame as an obstacle. Despite his lack of size and his being passed over in the NHL entry draft, after playing his junior hockey in the OHL, which has given the NHL so many players, Sean Avery eventually smashed his way into the league.

He can skate and score, but Sean Avery’s best asset is still his mouth. Among other highlights, he called one opponent “an arrogant little midget,” and suggested that another one’s dog “lick his face, not chew it”.

Sean Avery played a small role in the movie The Rocket (2005). Avery appeared in a December 2006 episode of MAD t.v. He has also been featured on an episode of MTV Cribs.

Sean Avery is an anomaly in hockey. In a sport known for fighting and violence, the two-time league leader in penalty minutes is a guy who also has a strong interest in fashion—The Devil Wears Bauer.

He loves dressing up in the latest fashion. These are not images you normally associate with the brutish and often boring image of hockey players.
Avery keeps things interesting.

As the Rangers found out, Avery is not just a brawler on the ice, but a player. He was a catalyst for a club that sorely needed fresh energy. He put a lot of points on the board—20 of them in just 27 games.

While he’s in Anger Management, keeping a low profile, meeting with NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman, Avery still makes news as hockey fans in New York City say they him back and sports pundits say the Pittsburgh Penguins should take him if the Rangers don’t.

Others suggest returning to the Pelicans, in Finland, or maybe Magnitogorsk, in Russia. The AHL team he joined during the NHL’s cancelled season, The Motor City Mechanics, have folded, but maybe there’s another place in the AHL where he could play his way back into the NHL.

Nobody has suggested the Toronto Maple Leafs invite him to join their team. Are you trying to tell me the Leafs couldn’t used a home-grown sensation? The superpest from Pickering was practically born and raised in Toronto. Pickering is right beside the sprawling city of Toronto.

Imagine the uproar in the otherwise silent Air Canada Centre, home of the Toronto Maple Leafs of the NHL, who haven’t won the Stanley Cup since 1967, if they had a home-grown hockey hero who was also seen as one of the sexiest men alive.

The Maple Leafs would have a media sensation on their hands and enough excitement to make a run for the play-offs and then—who knows?

If Sean Avery had the same effect on the Leafs he had on the Rangers last season, they would be able to sprint to the finish.

Currently the Leafs are in 27th place, fourth from the bottom of the standings, ahead of only the New York Islanders, the Ottawa Senators, and the Atlanta Thrashers.

If Avery joined the Leafs, he would be their shortest player, but he would have the most penalties in minutes on the team. He would be 13th in scoring—ahead of half the team, including three who play the same position.

Could he replace Jason Blake? They are the same height. Avery is a little bit heavier. At the all-star break, Blake led Toronto in shots on net and short-handed goals (one) and was tied for the team lead in goals, with 14.

How would Avery do, playing on a line with Nik Antropov and Matt Stajan? Put Avery on a line with Stajan and Jamal Mayers, and they would have an all-Toronto trio.

Sean Avery could be the new Eddie Shack, leading the Toronto attack.


2 Responses to “Sean Avery Could Help the Toronto Maple Leafs”

  1. Big D Hockey on February 5th, 2009 11:59 am

    PLEASE tell me you’ll take him. We’ll do it for a very reasonable price. Send Niklas Hagman back to Dallas and we’ll give you Avery. :)

    Stars record w/ Avery in the lineup: 8-11-4
    Stars record w/out Avery in the lineup: 16-6-3

    As I said, we’ll be happy to ship him your way. Good luck with him!

  2. Dougee on February 5th, 2009 3:26 pm

    I’d love to see Avery in a Leafs uniform… sign him up Burke and make sure Dallas is paying the bill.

Got something to say?