TORONTO NATIONALS FINISH INAUGURAL SEASON ON TOP WITH CHAMPIONSHIP WIN

by Terri Workman… Shawn Williams scores game winner and Merrick Thomson named game MVP.

Meeting each other for the fourth time this season, the second seeded Toronto Nationals and the top seeded Denver Outlaws faced off against each other for a final time in 2009 in Annapolis, MD this afternoon. Fans at the Navy-Marine Corps Stadium saw the Nationals take the game 10-9 and win the 2009 New Balance Major League Lacrosse (MLL) Championship for their inaugural season.

Toronto opened the scoring a minute into the game on a breakaway goal from Nick O’Hara, giving the Nationals a positive start to a game that would test the fitness of both teams who each played intense tight games yesterday in the semi-final matchups. The Nationals secured a place in today’s Championship after scoring five of the last six goals of the game for a close 14-13 win over the Long Island Lizards Saturday afternoon.

Denver answered back early on with midfielder Josh Sims putting the Outlaws on the board and that would be it for the Outlaws in the first quarter as Nationals goaltender Doc Schneider stopped a number of Denver shots to keep the scoring low.

John Grant Jr. gave Toronto a one goal lead with his first playoff goal on a behind the head shot past Outlaws goaltender Jesse Schwartzman finishing out the quarter 2-1 in favour of the Nationals.

Nationals’ attacker Jeff Zywicki scored to begin second quarter action before the Outlaws responded almost immediately when Matt Brown beat Schneider in front of the net bringing the score to 3-2. Brendan Mundorf tied the game at three a piece a minute later and the Outlaws took the first lead of the game at 4-3 after Brian Langtry scored on a power play.
Mundorf put another past Schneider for Denver before Zywicki scored his second of the game bringing the score within one and the first half came to end with Denver holding the lead at 5-4 and both Schwartzman and Schneider recording 10 saves each.

Second half starting goaltender Brett Queener, who didn’t appear in the semi-final game on Saturday afternoon made his first save of the playoffs early to open the third quarter and Merrick Thomson evened the score at five with a diving goal just outside the crease.

Jeff Sonke gave Denver the advantage scoring on Queener seven minutes into the third followed by another Outlaws goal from Mike Ward, his first goal of the season. Zywicki recorded a hat trick for the Nationals with his fourth goal of the playoffs followed by another Toronto goal from Thomson to tie the game once again at 6-6. The tie was short lived once Mundorf scored his third of the game for Denver with just under a minute left and the third quarter ended with the Outlaws ahead by one, 8-7.

Grant Jr. took one to the net and scored his second goal of the game unassisted and heated up a vocal Schwartzman to begin the final quarter of the Championship game in a tie. Sims scored for the Outlaws on a powerplay before Shawn Williams secured another goal for Toronto assisted by Zywicki with just under five minutes remaining in the game to tie it at 9.
With :45 seconds remaining, Williams cut toward the crease after a pass from semi-final game MVP Joe Walters and scored another huge goal for Toronto. That would be all the Nationals needed to win the game with a 10-9 defeat over the Denver Outlaws and hoist the Steinfeld Cup for the first time.

2009 MLL Defensive Player of the Year Brodie Merrill was the first to raise the trophy after the game. This is the third championship for the defender but the first time he’s been presented the Steinfeld Cup as captain.

“It’s a pretty special experience to get it, I’m very humbled by it,” said Merrill earlier this week before heading to Annapolis, MD. “The fun part will just be enjoying it with the entire team. We are very team oriented, and this is what we worked towards”.
Attacker Jeff Zywicki would lead the Nationals in points with four on three goals and one assist and was joined by major contributions across the board for Toronto. John Grant Jr, Merrick Thomson and Shawn Williams each contributed two goals and Nick O’Hara with one. Thomson was also named the game’s Bud Light MVP.
Brendan Mundorf led the Outlaws offence with three goals followed by Josh Sims who scored twice.
Goaltender Brett Queener recorded the win saving 11 of 15 shots in the second half and Doc Schneider held Denver to just five goals in the first half saving 12 of 17 goals.
The Nationals finish the season with a 9-5 record as Major League Lacrosse Champions.

For complete game statistics, please visit Pointstreak at: Toronto vs. Denver Boxscore<http://www.pointstreak.com/prostats/boxscore.html?gameid=1080366

Toronto Blue Jays: A Conversation Between Roy Halladay and His Body

by Geoff Zochodne… We enter the Toronto Blue Jays’ clubhouse. Roy Halladay is watching game film of his last start against the Boston Red Sox. It is 3 a.m. and the only other person in the room is a drunken John McDonald who is trying to catch self-tossed, beer bottle, pop fly’s. He snags every. Single. One.

Roy Halladay: Well, that wasn’t a great start last night. I can do much better, nay, I WILL do much better. Maybe if I just-

Roy Halladay’s Arm: Roy, listen to me for a second.

RH: What is it Arm?

Arm: I’m tired man. Maybe it’s time for an “anxiety” trip to the DL, no?

RH: Sorry arm. I owe it to this organization and my loyal fans. I’m all they’ve got right now and I need to be the man.

Arm: But you’ve tossed five complete games already! First in the American League! Your WHIP is lower than a chandelier in a dog house. You’ve pitched more innings than is allowable by the Geneva Convention. I’m pratically falling off here.

RH: Cram it, I’ll get the soldering iron out in a bit.

Roy Halladay’s Brain: Roy, I think it’s time to call it a season buddy. Let’s go A.J. Burnett all over this town.

RH: What did you just say to me? (Brain begins cowering) Brain, you just get back to watching film. I gotta bounce back and win this next start.

Brain: What for? No one cares anymore. I want to get back to curing cancer and putting a man on Mars. You promised me we could do those things Roy.

RH: I know Brain, but I must pitch well. I can’t not try hard, I mean that’s like sacrilege to me. The team and the fans appreciate my effort, I just know it.

Roy Halladay’s Stomach: Not according to me. Your gut instinct is saying it’s time to move on, and also to get a chicken parm sandwich.

RH: No I’ve got to get back to work. There’s no time for sand-

Stomach: NO TIME FOR SANDWICHES?!?!?! HOW DARE YOU!

Brain: Listen, there will be plenty of time for sandwiches (Stomach growls in approval).  Let’s just focus on getting the hell out of Toronto first. Roy, the team is going to trade you in the offseason and the rest of the league already knows how good you are. Arm needs a break, I need to think, and stomach needs food. Do I hear a ringing? Because I think it’s time to start phoning it in.

RH: Well… if you put it that way, maybe it is time for a little break.

Roy Halladay’s Conscience: ROY! How dare you? I’m ashamed to be your conscience. You get back to work. It’s time to start preparing for your next start.

Brain: Hey, the team is going nowhere. That nice guy who played right field…what’s his name? Allan? He got dumped for nothing! They couldn’t even sign all their draft picks for crying out loud! There’s no plan in place, it’s time to bolt.

Stomach: I think his name was Alex…

Brain: SILENCE. Let me speak. Think for a second: The organization is cutting costs while saying they’re going to increase payroll, there are whispers about selling the team, they traded away your best defensive asset in Scott Rolen, Cito’s lukewarm about returning, the rotation has a guy with a name I can’t spell AND WE’RE STILL IN FOURTH PLACE. Did Frankie just go to Hollywood? Because it’s time to relax, pal.

RH: NEVER. I didn’t get to where I am by relaxing. I will persevere and this team will win, for I am Roy Halladay: Defender of the Blue Jays. Randy Ruiz will be a good DH, the rotation will blossom, we’ll be just as good defensively, Cito will stay, I’ll win the Cy Young, the organization will spend money and the Snidawg’s back. Snidawg, Brain. SNIDAWG.

Brain: Ugh. Fine you jerk, be that way. Start throwing more curveballs inside to lefties.

RH: Thank you, Brain.

Enter J.P. Ricciardi, cue up music: Fastball’s “The Way”

J.P. Ricciardi: Hey Roy, can we talk?

BRAIN: KILL.

Arm: PUNCH.

Conscience: RUN.

Stomach: EAT.

RH: Sorry pal, I’m a little busy getting ready for my next start.

J.P.: Oh, well can you write me a letter of recommendation later? Things aren’t looking too good.

RH: Of course J.P.

J.P.’s Stomach: I’m starving. Where did you put Halladay’s soul?

John McDonald (spotting J.P. through a veil of alcohol-induced tears): I got your letter of recommendation right here J.P. (He gestures towards a PG-13 area of his body). Why would you re-sign me and then just have me pinch run? WHY?!?!

(Note: All screenplay inquiries should be forwarded to [email protected]. The working title is, “Look Who’s Chirping Now”)

Eleven Reasons College Football Is Better Than Pro Football

by Dan Boone…  Doesn’t pro football make you groan?

Do you roll your eyes and moan when you hear the billionaire owners and millionaire players playing in taxpayer-built palaces threaten a “work stoppage”? How about when the TV talking head talks intently about the gathering dark clouds of an ominously looming labor contract?

If the players want to strike, let ‘em go. Since free agency, the quality of the NFL play has dropped dramatically, and teams only retain the majority of their players for a few years.

No more Steel Curtains, Fearsome Foursomes, Monsters of the Midways, Doomsday Defenses, or Purple People Eaters, no the turnover is too great and good teams are torn asunder.

As B.B. King sang, “The thrill is gone.” Okay, the thrill may not gone, but it’s fading in comparison to college football.

Let’s check out how the college game, despite the BCS playing a playoff prevent defense to keep its paws in the money pot, is better than the pros.

1. The Quarterback Can Be Tackled, Sacked, Rushed, Touched, and Brushed.

He is a player. He is one of 11 guys who plays football just like all the other players.

The NFL has protected its perfumed princes of the pocket to such a degree that it has taken away from the quality of the game.

2. College Players Seem To Enjoy the Game More.

The NFL has become the look-at-me league.

Players, making millions, dance after every simple tackle or catch.

Some players call press conferences to air individual complaints after each loss.

Some very well-paid players do not try on every play. They say it’s a business, just a business.

Some players seem like they could care less.

In college football, the players at least try on every play.

3. College Coaches Have Personalities.

Steve Spurrier says some stupid, albeit often funny, things.

Lane Kiffin came out verbally swinging in Tennessee.

Joe Paterno can be a grumpy old man.

Some college coaches appear mad or sad, angry or happy, sarcastic or mean, but at least, most coaches show a bit of emotion, unlike the coaching drones on the NFL sidelines.

The NFL coachbots are afraid to say anything the least bit interesting or controversial. They just drop the same staid sound bites week after week after week. Maybe the heavy hand of Goodell fills them with fear.

Or perhaps, like in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, they have all just been transformed into drones.

Different coaching personalities make for a variety of offenses and defenses. The NFL is a copycat league where innovation is seldom seen anymore.

4. College Teams Do Not Switch Cities.

Sure, sometimes they switch conferences, but it’s highly unlikely that Penn State will suddenly relocate to Los Angeles, or the Alabama Crimson Tide will move to Cleveland or USC to St. Louis.

Although, Joe Paterno would be a hit in La La Land.

5. Natural Rivalries.

The NCAA has messed this up a bit.

Penn State doesn’t play Pittsburgh, and Nebraska doesn’t play Oklahoma every year, but generally, teams play their natural rivals annually.

Which begs the question, why doesn’t the NFL have the New York Jets and Giants play every year? Why not these matchups: the 49ers and Raiders, the Steelers and Eagles, the Cowboys and Texans, and the Chiefs and Rams?

Well, okay, an annual Rams and Chiefs game would actually be viewed as cruel and unusual punishment in Missouri.

6. College Football Has No Greed-Driven Personal Seat License Scams or a Preseason with Full-Priced Games.

The personal seat license is perhaps the most vile, greedy creature ever spawned in the history of sport.

And the NFL and its twisted accountants bore the beast.

Then they added the full-priced preseason tickets to twist the financial price even further.

Have they no shame?

Nope, guess not.

Washington Redskins owner Danny Snyder just laid off four more groundskeepers to prove he is suffering in this economy, too.