The All You Can Eat Weekend Guide to Gluttony
September 25, 2009
by Ian Hunter… It will be a weekend of pure unabashed gluttony when Blue Jays fans stuff their faces during the All You Can Eat Weekend. I myself will be attending this Sunday, and I look forward to gorging on processed meats, cheeses, and other foods of which their origin is unknown.
In order to enjoy this experience to the fullest, you will need to mentally and physically prepare yourself for this war. Just like Rocky Balboa had Mickey in his corner, consider this your training regiment and encouragement for the Blue Jays All You Can Eat Weekend.
Preparations – Leading Up To
In order to prepare for such an event, there is actually a lot of training that is required to get the most for your money. Leading up to the event, the experts say to only consume one large meal per day and to wash it down with at least a gallon of water. One mistake you definitely do not want to make is to fast before the game. This will actually tighten up your stomach and limit how much you can scarf down. There’s no point in starving yourself – leave that for the runway models.
Preparations – Day Of
The day of the game, do whatever you need to do to mentally prepare yourself for the All You Can Eat game. Go for a jog, play some Xbox 360, or meditate by listening to Lionel Ritchie records – whatever makes you comfortable. Clear your mind and your stomach will be empty. And remember the wise words the great Jedi Master, Yoda. Do or do not, there is no try.
Once you get to the ballpark, have a plan of attack. Remember that your food options are fairly limited; hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, peanuts and pop. I wouldn’t even bother with the smaller items such as popcorn and peanuts because they take up too much room in your stomach, and you can get those for pennies at the grocery store anyway.
Just like Roy Halladay, you want to work fast. The quicker you eat, the more you will be able to put in your stomach, so keep eating and try not to rest for too long. Wash everything down with some sugar-laden soda or spare yourself the calories and drink plenty of water.
Keep in mind that you definitely want to get your money’s worth from this event. The tickets for the seats alone are 25 dollars, which means you need to eat at least 14 dollars worth of food to make it worth your while. That really shouldn’t be that difficult because two hot dogs and a pop are around 15 dollars anyway.
The Aftermath
Remember that after all of this, there is actually still a ballgame to watch so try not to eat so much that you turn into a grizzly and go into hibernation for nine innings. However, after stuffing yourself with hot dogs, nachos and pop all afternoon, a well-deserved siesta will be in order once you get home. The primary goal of the All You Can Eat Weekend is to have fun, so enjoy yourself and take in one of the last home games of the season at the Rogers Centre while you still can.
In the end, your stomach will thank you.
2009-2010 UEFA Champions League: Five Things We Learned from Matchday One
September 25, 2009
1. Yes, Real Madrid is Good
Real Madrid spent an exorbitant amount of money in the off-season constructing a team of superstars designed to terrorize both Spanish and European competition. The goal was simple: take back the Spanish Primera Division title, and reclaim the Champions League crown. Sound familiar? The Spanish giants used the same formula in the early 2000’s – the Galacticos era – bringing in David Beckham, Michael Owen, Luis Figo, and Zinedine Zidane among others. Back then, the results were entirely underwhelming, with zero trophies captured and little magic created. Many were curious to see if this year’s version would become the unstoppable force as planned, or just another collection of overbearing egos. A 5-2 thrashing of FC Zurich in Matchday One suggests the former.
It appeared Madrid had the power to score at will. The passing was crisp, the speed relentless, and the teamwork nearly perfect. Zurich’s quick netting of two goals will leave questions about their defensive prowess, but the offensive fireworks more than compensate for whatever shortcoming that presents. Besides, a 5-0 blanking of Xerez in the Spanish League directly following the Champions League match shows they do have the ability to prevent goals. The competition should be sterner in Matchday Two with French League runners-up Marseille, but for now Real Madrid looks like the real deal.
2. Jose Mourinho Ruined the Hype
By far the most anticipated game of the opening week, and perhaps the entire tournament, came in Italy, where Inter Milan hosted defending champions Barcelona. Besides being a battle of two high profile clubs, and matching the champions of Italy against the champions of Spain, it also marked a homecoming: Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Samuel Eto’o playing against their former squads. But for all the hype, the game did not live up to its billing. The result was a lackluster 0-0 draw, and though both teams created a few quality scoring chances, neither looked like they would score.
For this we can thank Inter coach Jose Mourinho. Very rarely did he order any attacking rushes, preferring instead to sit back and stifle Barca, focusing on containing Lionel Messi, Thierry Henry, and Ibrahimovic. The result was unfulfilling not only to both squads, but to the public in general, who were denied the opportunity to see two world class teams in action. For Barcelona, it’s never a bad thing to gain a point on the road in a hostile environment, and for Inter, they did hold the defending champs. But everybody wanted more. Hopefully we get more in the return match in November.
3. More English Dominance?
In 2005, Liverpool won the Champions League and Chelsea made the semi finals. Arsenal went to the final in 2006. Three English teams made the final four in each of the next three years. The Champions League was turning into a playground for Premier League teams. But coming into this season, it appeared on paper that Liverpool, Arsenal, and Manchester United were weaker, with the exodus of players such as Xabi Alonso, Emmanuel Adebayor, and Cristiano Ronaldo. Only Chelsea looked to have a real shot at winning.
Well, Matchday One came and went and the English teams look as strong as ever. All four Premier League clubs were victorious. While true that Liverpool looked underwhelming in scraping by unheralded Debreceni at Anfield, the other three looked fantastic. Arsenal used quick strike offense to storm back from two down against Standard in Belgium; Manchester United survived a long daunting road trip to Turkey; Chelsea bullied their way past Portuguese champs Porto in a ferocious downpour in London. Liverpool appears to have a tricky group to manage, but this is a team built for European play, a team that continually shines in the Champions League. If they can sneak into the knockout rounds would it really be a surprise to see another British invasion in the final four? Stay tuned.
4. No Place for Underdogs
The 2004 Champions League final pitted Monaco against Porto – only notable because that marks the last time a final did not include one of Europe’s traditional powers. 2005 – 2009 saw a who’s who of Europe’s elite in the ultimate match: Manchester United, Liverpool, AC Milan, Barcelona, and Chelsea. This season, UEFA amended the tournament format in attempts to open up the competition. More group stage places were reserved for champions of smaller European countries, while qualifying was more difficult for third and fourth place teams of large nations. The ultimate goal was to provide hope for smaller teams, that maybe they can become the next Monaco or Porto.
Unfortunately, Matchday One proved the big boys are better than ever, and that this tournament is no place for minnows. Of all the smaller clubs, only one, APOEL FC of Cyprus, was able to steal a point, a hard earned 0-0 draw with Atletico Madrid of Spain. Teams like Zurich, Debreceni, Maccabi Haifa, and Besiktas fought hard, but were ultimately no match for the Bayern Munich’s or Real Madrid’s. The gulf in class is simply too much to overcome, especially with many of the world powers placing more emphasis on the Champions League than on domestic triumph. It would be the shock of the year for the final on May 22nd to be played without at least one super club present. My money is on two.
5. Best Competition in the World
Despite its popularity the Champions League is still the target of many criticisms: too many teams, too many qualifying rounds, the competition is too long, smaller teams have no chance. But there is really no doubt that even with these criticisms, the UEFA Champions League is still the best sporting competition in the world. As soon as the Champions League anthem was heard on television sets, millions of people across Europe and around the world, even the critics, were transfixed. The atmosphere it presents is electric, so much so that even soccer followers thousands of miles away feel jitters. The tournament is so popular that millions of people log onto uefa.com to read play-by-play text updates of matches. The first Matchday of this year’s tournament certainly didn’t disappoint. From Arsenal’s thrilling two goal comeback, to Real Madrid’s official coming out party there were highlights aplenty. The action was intense and left many catching their breath. But be warned: Matchday Two is just around the corner.
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