Week Nine NFL Prime Picks

by Thomas [NFL Mikee] Moreland….

Donovan McNabb and the Eagles stopped the Giants season in its tracks, beating them at home. Next, Dallas comes into Philadelphia. Take the Eagles in their own place.

The Giants next have San Diego in the Meadowlands. Take Mew York at home. San Diego never plays well on these road trips.

Atlanta has Washington at home, in a scrimmage week for Atlanta, as they will win this game easily.

Green Bay will go South and beat Tampa Bay in Tampa with no problem. This is a no brainer kind of pick.

New England shows everyone who the AFC East team to beat is, by crunching the Dolphins into fried tuna in New England.

Jacksonville is at home against Kansas City. Is this win number two for Kansas City? Can Jacksonville ever play well?  Aw, heck, I’ll take the home team.

Here is the Houston Texan’s biggest stage ever. Go into Indianapolis and knock off the division leader and undefeated Colts and show the world you can make the playoffs.

I will take the Texans. Be the man, Matt Schaub.

Baltimore gets the Bengals in Cincinnati after a big game last week against Denver. I like the Ravens to get this one on the road.

Arizona goes into Chicago feeling very good, for this time of the season. The Arizona defense has stepped up, and I am confident Warner can get this one done.

Seattle  finally gets another win against Detroit at home. Seattle is once again, toast. They are 3-5 with this win and going nowhere fast.

New Orleans will try to stay undefeated at home against Carolina. Carolina does not have enough weapons to keep up with Brees and company. Take New Orleans.

The Forty-Niners have the dangerous Tennessee Titans in a game that shouts “upset, upset, upset.” They are in San Francisco. I will take the Niners.

Pittsburgh rolls into Denver and will win. Denver is a pretender, and this game will expose them for just an ordinary team.

I will be right around 76-39 for the season right after week eight concludes.

Thomas [NFL Mikee] Moreland.

Updated NFL Power Ratings: Weakness Exposed In Certain Teams

by Thomas Moreland… Drew Brees lit up the New York Giants for 49 points while the defense kept Eli Manning in check for a big win.

The undisputed heavyweight champions in the NFL are the New Orleans Saints.

In the number two spot in the power ratings are…the Minnesota Vikings. Brett Farve brought his team back again to grab the game from a Baltimore Ravens team who surged late, but fell short.

Minnesota’s defense has some glaring weaknesses to address in the secondary. But the Vikings have six wins rather than five, to lock up the number two spot for the time being.

Indianapolis is at the number three spot at 5-0, and may move up next week with a strong performance against the Rams, while Minnesota must play Pittsburgh on the Steelers home field.

Beat the Steeler’s and keep your spot, it’s as simple as that.

Denver has the number four spot, being undefeated at the moment.

The Steelers have the number five spot with Troy Polamalu back from injury and the offense looking very good. Rashard Mendenhall has added a spark to the run game and the Steeler defense is still very solid.

If they lose at home to the Vikings, they will also slip down the ratings pole.

New England looks like they are coming on strong with that last game, and obviously Tom Brady is fully recovered from his knee injury. They have the number six spot locked up, and have a win coming next week in Tampa Bay.

Atlanta is a contender to win the NFC Championship, along with Minnesota, and of course New Orleans. This offense is seriously talented and the defense is adequate.

This team is 4-1 and looks very good. Atlanta is currently at number seven.

The Giants are a good team but I think the teams currently above them are just as good, if not better. The Giants must step up in big games to prove they deserve to be among the top five teams in the NFL. They’re number eight for the time being.

Number nine is currently the Cincinnati Bengals with a 4-2 record. This team could also slip down a few notches with a loss, but for the time being 4-2 has got them here.

Number 10, by virtue of a good road win in Seattle, are the Arizona Cardinals. They must go into New York next week and get another win on the road to stay in the top 10.

The Green Bay Packers are looking better and better as the season moves along, and are at 3-2. They beat Chicago to open the season, and must keep winning to be competitive with Minnesota in that division. Right now, they stand at number 11.

The Ravens are sliding down quickly, and must get a couple wins in a row to move back up. They occupy the number 12 spot.

Chicago is at number 13, and also must win some more games. Matt Forte is not doing it this season, and Chicago is missing personnel that is hurting their chances for a postseason appearance.

Philadelphia slipped all the way down to number 14 with a loss to Oakland this week. Lose to a weak team, and that is what happens.

San Diego is at number 15, mainly because of no defense. Beat Denver and show the league something. Otherwise, no playoffs for you.

Houston is at number 16 at 3-3 for the season so far. They must put some wins together to move up and possibly be in contention for the first playoff appearance in their young history.

San Francisco is at number 17 and also must put some more wins on the board to be considered for the playoffs and respect in the league. Atlanta exposed some serious problems for the 49ers last week.

The Dallas Cowboys are at number 18. Pretty sad, huh?. But that’s about it for this team if nothing changes in a number of categories for Dallas. Defense, coaching, special teams, offense, quarterback, etc. etc. etc.

The Jets are at number 19 after three losses in a row and a horrible game against Buffalo. Sanchez has a lot to learn about defenses in the NFL.

Rounding out the top 20 teams are the Miami Dolphins, who did beat the Jets, but still have a bit of work to do to move up a few notches. Perhaps I am anticipating next week’s matchup against the Saints.

If they have a good game they can move up a couple of spots.

In the 21st spot are the Carolina Panthers who are pulling the season out somehow, with two wins in a row now. They can beat Buffalo this week, and pull to 3-3, which is likely.

In the 22nd spot are the Jacksonville Jaguars who have a chance to play to a winning record this season, maybe. Playoffs? I think not.

In the 23rd spot are the 0-6 Titans, who will beat some teams this season even after a horrendous start. This team is simply better than their record suggests.

Seattle is at number 24 , and is not looking very good this season. I can’t expect them to move up much further this season with the talent they have to work with.

Number 25 is the Washington Redskins, who will hire a new coach at the end of this season. The Jim Zorn experiment will be over.

Number 26 is the Buffalo Bills who are not very good, and maybe will replace their coach as well next season.

Number 27 is the Kansas City Chiefs who have a decent quarterback and a couple of wide receivers. That’s about it.

Number 28 is the Raiders who have a whopping two wins now. This team could get better, but I don’t know how with the quarterback they have now.

Number 29 is the Cleveland Browns, but these last few teams in the rankings are not separated by much.

Number 30 is the Detroit Lions who are not the worst team in football anymore.

Number 31 is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers with no direction, not much talent, and little hope for the next few years to come.

Last, and certainly least, at far as team talent, motivation, coaching, the draft, and anything else you can think of, are the hapless St. Louis Rams.

There you have it, your up to date NFL power rankings for 2009.

These can change from week to week as you saw with the Jets losing to Buffalo, Philadelphia dropping down from a defeat by the lowly Raiders—which still has me scratching my head—and Kansas City going into Washington and beating the Redskins.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

NFL Mikee’s Week One Picks and Playoff Predictions

by Thomas “NFL Mikee” Moreland… Welcome to the NFL 2009/2010 season. I am Thomas Moreland , also known as NFL Mikee. I will keep you on a winning path in your office pools and betting endeavors as the season rolls along. Play close attention every week to all my picks and you will do well.

Last season I was 70 games over 500 picking winners, and this season will be no different. In addition to picking the winners, I will also give you the point spreads and picks in a separate article every week, strictly for the gamblers.

Well, we have some great games to start off the season, so let’s get right to it.

The Pittsburgh Steelers begin their title defense at home against Tennessee on Thursday night, Sept. 10th. Take the Steelers in this one, being at home, and the defense being very, very good once more.

The Steelers should win their division once more and contend for another Super Bowl. In fact, they are my AFC pick to go back to the Super Bowl.

Tennessee will have their hands full, competing with Indianapolis and the Houston Texans this season. They have a good team, but I am predicting a bit of a drop off from last season.

The New York Jets travel to Texas to play Houston in the first week. They will absolutely have their hands full and lose that first game to the Texans. I am going out on a limb here, but I predict the Texans finally make it to the promised land this season, and will see a playoff game.

The Jets, on the other hand, will battle Buffalo all season for the bottom of the AFC East.

The Miami Dolphins travel to Atlanta in the first week. That will not be a trip to bring back fond memories. Look for Atlanta, and a very potent offense, to beat Miami.

Matt Ryan will be better, that’s right, better this season, and he has added Tony Gonzales to his weaponry. White has signed, and Micheal Turner will be a workhorse one again.

I am taking Atlanta to win that tough NFC South, with Miami also making the playoffs, as a wild card. Atlanta is also my pick to make it to the Super Bowl for the NFC this season.

Detroit is on the road against the New Orleans Saints, who are a good team at home. Take New Orleans in this one. Detroit may win a game or two this season, but not this week against Brees and company.

Jacksonville travels to Indianapolis to meet the Colts, and this should be a pretty good game. Of course, you have the ever-dangerous Peyton Manning against an expanded role in Jacksonville’s offense with Maurice Jones Drew now that Freddy Taylor is gone.

Take the home team in this one. I can ‘t take Jacksonville quite yet until I see something positive from them in 2009/2010.

Jacksonville will probably finish out of the playoffs again, while the Colts win their division.

The Philadelphia Eagles travel on their first week to Carolina. This is a tough pick, with Michael Vick in the picture, and the horrible playoff loss Carolina suffered against the Cardinals last season.

I think the Panthers have a bit more to prove in this opener, so again, take the home team in this one. It will be interesting to see the Eagles offense tries to overcome a good team at home, as Carolina usually is during the season.

Minnesota goes to Cleveland in their opener, and expect a heavy dose of Adrian Peterson in this one. The run will set up the pass, and Brett Favre will get some kinks out, and start to get comfortable with the Vikings offense.

Cleveland will miss the playoffs in the first year of Mangini’s reign. The Vikings are my favorite to win this division. I, for one, can’t wait for Favre to play Green Bay. That’s going to be fun, no matter what happens.

Dallas meets Tampa Bay in the first week, and with all the change in Tampa, this will be a tough start for the new coach in Tampa. Dallas will be all over the Buc’s in this one. Dallas plays well the first couple of months of most seasons. Tampa Bay finishes last in the NFC South this season. Dallas may make the playoffs as a wild card.

Cincinnati hosts Denver in week one. Flip a coin. The Bengals showed signs of life late in the season, and Denver has Kyle Orton, an angry receiver, and a new coach. I will take the Bengals to win at home.

Kansas City with Matt Cassel travels to take on a playoff team from last season in the Baltimore Ravens. Joe Flacco should get better, and Cassel will feel much more pressure this season than he did with New England last year.

I will take Baltimore at home, but I am not confident to pick the Ravens or Kansas City to make the playoffs. Remember, I have Houston in that wild card spot this season.

The two worst teams of the league last season start off playing each other this season. The Rams travel to Seattle. Both teams should not have high expectations for the coming year, but I will give the edge to the Seahawks in this one.

This next game is very interesting as far as any chance of knocking Arizona out of that division title in the weak NFC West. Arizona should be able to win at home however, as the Forty-Niners are not quite there yet.

The Giants open their season at home against Washington in a division rivalry, and I like the Giants at home. The tough NFC East is especially difficult to beat in their own stadiums. I think New York, Philadelphia, and Dallas will battle all year long in a very close division race.

Washington will fizzle again, and perhaps Philadelphia will confound defenses with the addition of Vick. Or that could backfire, and New York and Dallas will benefit. This should be the most competitive division in the NFL this season.

Chicago goes into Green Bay to start the season, and Jay Cutler should give a big boost to the Bears’ offense. Matt Forte will have more experience and it could be another long season for the Packers. I like Chicago in this one.

Finally, to end the first week, two games on Monday night. Buffalo hosts the Patriots, and this is a no-brainer. New England wins this one easily as my lock of the week.

San Diego opens up in Oakland, and I have to pick San Diego, with a healthy back field, and proven quarterback to win this game.

San Diego should win the AFC West, and New England steals the division from Miami this season.

There you have it. That’s the first week in a nutshell. I see 10-6 quite easily, perhaps 11-5.

Look for my point spread winners on my next article two days before the season starts.

Thanks to all my fans and readers, and enjoy the 2009/2010 NFL season.

Thomas “NFL Mikee” Moreland

Brady, Favre, and Vick! A Tale Of Three Cities

by Thomas Moreland… Hi readers. It’s getting that time of year again, finally. Football season is almost upon us, and what a season it’s going to be.

There is so much to talk about, with all the changes in personnel, and draft moves, that I will give you my pre-season updated predictions on division winners and my picks to make it to the super bowl later this week.

Right now, let’s focus on three stories of note, and I’m sure I have a surprise for the readers that know my articles from last season.

First of all, welcome back to the Patriots, one of the premier quarterbacks of all time, Tom Brady.

The knee should be good to go, and I look for the Patriots to win that division, sneaking by the Dolphins, by a game or two.

Cassel did a very nice job getting them to 11-5 but no playoffs. That was bad luck, but the competition for that wild card spot in the AFC last season was very tight.

This season however, I would think with Brady, and some key acquisitions at running back, wide receiver and defense, the Patriots will be 12-4  and comfortably in the playoffs and Super Bowl quest.

Second, Brett Farve will quarterback the Vikings. We all know the key motivation for Favre is sticking it to the Packers.

I am a student of motivation, being in sales, and I understand how much of a force this can be. We all want to prove something to someone, once in a while, and this is Favre’s way of showing the Packer’s they should have just kept him.

He did give his heart and soul to that team for many years and loves the game of football. Lombardi would have never let him go. He was always the force behind the Packers returning to the league elites, as far as good teams go.

With that said, teams will not be able to put as many guys up front against the Vikings. Adrian Peterson will be a better weapon, because of Favre’s arm, and Minnesota now has the edge in winning that division again.

Green Bay should be better, and Chicago has Cutler. Given all the drama, this should be a very fun division to watch. When the Packers play the Vikings, watch the TV ratings go off the charts.

And last but not least, the Eagles have picked up Michael Vick. I know I’ve said and written some harsh things about Vick, and if you’ve read any of my articles on the Vick happenings, this will be the surprise I was talking about.

After watching Vick on 60 Minutes last week, he touched me with his words. I now have forgiveness for the situation. This is coming from a dog rescuer, and Pit Bull owner.

He talked about the culture of having been brought up to accept the fighting. He spoke of police seeing the fights and not stopping to break up the madness.

He spoke of his money he lost and it did not matter how much he lost, because he knew in his heart he was wrong.

He spoke of having the power to stop the fighting and quit the dog ring, and not stepping up to do just that.

Michael Vick, to me looked sorry for what he did. In my eyes, and God’s, this is all that’s required to get a second chance.

With that said, it should be interesting to see a form of the wildcat offense, with McNabb and Vick in the same backfield. This will take some pressure off the running game, and give them some needed options.

I thought I could never forgive Vick and would despise him for all his days, but I bought into the fact thet Tony Dungy, a man I respect to the utmost would take the time to mentor Vick, and help him be a good person.

If Tony Dungy uses his valuable time for this guy, then maybe there is something good to come out of all this.

I ask everyone to look past the cruelty, and just be positive about Vick turning his life around.

I will preview each Division winner in my next NFL article, and give you my playoff predictions. Look for my picks every week, and you all know I do this well.

This season I will pick winners and do a separate pick article each week, strictly on the point spreads, keeping track of each record.

That way, the gamblers will be happy too. Some people last season said anybody can just pick the winners, it’s the spread that matters. It’s hard enough going 70 games over 500 picking winners as I did last season.

The season before, on a local radio station, I was 50 games over 500 against the points.

You will see that I am…….NFL Mikee.

Sean O’Hair Bags a Tiger at Quail Hollow

By Thomas Moreland… Sean O’Hair certainly felt some pressure with the No. 1 player in the world breathing down his neck, but came through with some clutch play to win at Quail Hollow.

Tiger could manage no better than fourth after leading the first round of the tournament. Is it possible we are seeing a decline in Tiger’s game for the first time, or is he still getting used to life after surgery?

Congratulations to Mr. O’Hair, who is having a very nice year. Oh, he was on my fantasy team this week, as I took a nice jump in the Yahoo Fantasy Golf standings.

Coupled with his win, Tiger’s fourth, and an 11th by Y E Yang, plus the added bonus of an 18th by David Toms, I stand at the 86th percentile with 2336 points and the position of 22841. I am having a good spring and hope to catch another expert on Yahoo soon.

I didn’t expect Tiger to lose to one of my B players, but at least I picked Mr. O’Hair, too. Next week, the PGA moves to Ponte Verdra Beach for the TPC Players Championship at Sawgrass. Sergio Garcia won last season, but certainly has not showed the game this season to be in contention.

My fantasy team will include—sigh—Tiger Woods as my A player. I will stick with him, as I believe he will step up to the challenge this next week and, once again, challenge for PGA player of the year. My B players will be David Toms and Brain Gay, and my C player will be Ian Poulter. On the bench this week, getting activated quite frequently for late round points, will be Geoff Ogilvy, Hunter Mahan, Chad Campbell, and Henrik Stenson.

I will leave you with this short biblical golf tale.

Jesus, Moses, and an old man were partnered together in the Heavenly Golf Tourney.

Moses was the first to tee off. He tucked in his robes, took a tremendous swing, and drove his ball straight into the lake that bordered the fairway

“Oh, a plague upon that that ball!”, exclaimed Moses. Then he waved his hand, parted the waters of the lake, walked in and prepared to hit his second shot.

Next up was Jesus. He took a perfect swing. The ball flew far and straight down the fairway, took several long bounces, and rolled up on the green and into the hole.

He nodded his head knowingly and said, “Only because it is the will of my father.”

Then it was the old man’s turn. He swung as best he could, only to hook the ball some fifty yards to the left and headed for the lake.

But just before it landed in the water, a frog leaped up and caught the ball in its mouth. Then an eagle swooped down, snatched the frog, and flew away.

But a hunter with a bow and arrow appeared on the far shore, took aim, and sent an arrow winging at the bird. The arrow, which had a rubber head, of course (this was, after all, heaven), struck the eagle between the eyes.

The eagle was stunned and the frog fell out of his mouth, landing on the green. The ball popped out of the frog’s mouth, rolled straight towards the hole, hung on the edge, and fell in for the ace.

Jesus looked over at the old man and muttered disgustingly, ” Stop showing off, Dad.”

Swing the club smoothly and make some putts.

And The 2009 NFC North Division Winner Is……….. Da Bears!!!

by Thomas Moreland… In a huge move to instill hope for Chicago fans, Chicago traded Kyle Orton, plus a first, third, and supplemental draft pick for Jay Cutler at 4:00 pm Thursday, April 2nd. 2009.

The Bears also signed Orlando Pace to a deal, after passing a physical, earlier  in the day.

A big winner in this trade will be Oakland and San Diego, who will surely battle for the AFC West now.

Denver is officially in rebuilding mode, and I just don’t believe Kansas City, even with Matt Cassel will be competing for that division title yet.

I will replace Minnesota, with Taveras Jackson, and Sage Rosenthals at quarterback, with The Chicago Bears, Jay Cutler, and that defense, to win the division this upcoming season.

I had chosen the Vikings to repeat, but the quarterback situation there is a big question mark, while Cutler is a proven pro bowler, with a gun.

I still like Philadelphia and New York to battle for that division, with an edge to the Eagles, this season to win the division.

New England looks very good in the AFC East, with the Dolphins grabbing a wild card again.

Pittsburgh should win that division again, and Baltimore holding down that wild card once more.

New Orleans and Atlanta will be the in running for the NFC South, as Carolina will have a production drop off from last season, and Tampa Bay looks to be a 500 team at best.

Arizona will compete well in that weak division, but the 49ers may have a chance to challenge this coming season. Seattle and the Rams will not be 500 teams next season, once more.

Indianapolis should have a battle from Houston this season, and Tennessee will be in the mix as well. This might be the closest contested division in football next season.

I actually like Houston to make the playoffs next season. Good running back production, good wide receivers, and an improved defense will help this team in 2009.

Congratulations to Chicago for finally getting a quarterback. T.W. Krems is smiling today. Hang in there, buddy.

Great Golf Quotes by Famous People

by Thomas Moreland… Here are some classic quotes from many a famous person, and I hope you enjoy them.

It matters not the sacrifice

Which makes the duffers wife so sore

I am the captain of my slice

I am the servant of my score.     Grantland Rice

There are two things that will not last long in this world, and that’s dogs chasing cars, and pro’s putting for pars.   Lee Trevino

The game of golf was started at 11:10 a.m., the first lie about a scorecard at 11:22, and the first golf joke at noon.   Bennett Serf

A game you play with your own worst enemy—-yourself.  Finley Peter Dunne

The most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.  Chi Chi Rodriguez

A game in which you claim the privileges of age and retain the playthings of youth. Samuel Johnson

A game that begins with a golf ball and ends with a high ball. Bert Sugar

A game in which a ball 1 1/2 inches in diameter is played on a ball 8,000 miles in diameter. The object is to hit the small ball, but not the larger. John Cunningham

A game in which the ball lies poorly and the players well. Art Rosenblum

Through years of experience, I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt. Jack Nicklaus

I’m playing like Tarzan, and scoring like Jane  Chi Chi Rodriguez

When I hit the ball, I want someone else to go chase it. Baseball player Roger Hornsby, on why he did not play golf.

You can always spot the employee playing golf with his boss. He’s the fellow who makes a hole in one and says, “oops!”   Bob Monkhouse

Golf seems like an arduous way to go for a walk. I prefer to take the dogs out. Princess Anne

I’ve got to figure out how to take a vacation from a vacation. Dave Stockton on playing the PGA Senior Tour.

GOLFERSWHO TALKFASTSWINGFAST!   Bob Toski

The loudest sound you hear is the guy jingling coins to distract a player he bet against. Jim Murray

The IRS has made liars out of more Americans than the game of golf. Will Rogers

What I like about golf is there are no bad calls. Ivan Lendl

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards. Milton Berle

Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. Paul Harvey

Golf is the hardest game to play, and the easiest to cheat at. Dave Hill

Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves tell you to do. Bruce Crampton

Golf is a plague invented by Calvinist Scots to as a punishment for man’s sins. James Reston

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball, into an even smaller hole. with weapons ill designed for that purpose. Winston Churchill

Find a man with both feet firmly on the ground and you’ve found a man about to make a difficult putt. Fletcher Knebel

I used to play golf with a guy who cheated so badly that he once had a hole-in-one and wrote down zero on the scorecard. Bob Bruce

Willie Nelson, discussing what par is on a golf course he bought. It’s anything I want it to be. For instance, the hole right here is 47. and yesterday I birdied the sucker.

I’d give up golf if I didn’t have so many sweaters. Bob Hope

Chi Chi Rodriguez, on his accent. After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back in ten minutes with a ham on rye.

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced. Lee Trevino

I don’t like to watch golf on television. I hate whispering. David Brenner

I can air mail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it. Jim Dent

A hole in one, scored by accident, can keep a complete duffer playing golf for the rest of his life. “Champagne” Tony Lima

I’m hitting the woods just great, but I’m having a terrible time getting out of them,  Harry Toscano

Arnold Palmer is the greatest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. Bob Hope

Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible for a hole-in-one. Martha Beckman

My best score is 103, but I’ve only been playing for 15 years. Alex Karras

The only thing I fear on a golf course is lightning…and Ben Hogan.  Sam Snead

Serenity is knowing your worst shot is still going to be pretty good. Johnny Miller

The reason they call it golf is that the other four letter words were used up. Leslie Nielsen

If you can break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80. watch your business. Joey Adams

You can talk to a fade, but a hook won’t listen. Lee Trevino

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong ball. Blake Lochrie

I das a wonderful experience on the golf course today. I had a hole in nothing.Missed the ball and sank the divot. Don Adams

I play in the low 80s. If it’s any hotter than that, I don’t play.Joe E Brown

Lee Trevino, on where professional golf would be without sponsors money: I’ll tell you where it would be. Julous Boros would be a bookkeeper in Connecticut, Arnold Palmer would be in the Coast Guard, and I’d be back in Texas, picking cotton.

I learned English from American pros. That’s why I speak so bad. I call it PGA English. Roberto Di Vicenzo

I’m convinced the reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not otherwise be caught dead in. Roger Simon

Golf and sex are about the only two things you can enjoy without being very good at it. Jimmy Demaret

They say Sam Snead is a natural golfer. But if he did not practice , he’d be a natural bad golfer. Gary Player on the necessity of practice.

Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain’t no game. Burt Shotton

If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf. Bob Hope

It’s good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain

You know the old rule, he who has the fastest cart, never has to play a bad lie. Mickey Mantle

Golf is a young man’s vice and an old man’s penance. Irvin S. Cobb

When playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. Henny Youngman

If you are going to throw a club, it’s important you throw it down the fairway in front of you. That way you don’t waste energy going to pick it up. Tommy Bolt

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes. Davey Marr

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law. H.G. Wells

There an old saying: if a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburrs in his pants, don’t ask him what he shot. Sam Snead

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golfers become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five, John Updike

Give me my golf clubs, freah air, a beautiful partner, and you can keep the golf clubs and fresh air. Jack Benny

Prayer never seems to work for me on the golf course. I think it has something to do with my being a terrible putter. Rev. Billy Graham

Gimme: an agreement between two losers who can’t putt. Jim Bishop

Isn’t it fun to go out on the golf course and lie in the sun. Bob Hope

Hook: the addiction of 50 percent of all golfers. Slice: the weakness of the other half.

Hope you enjoyed these bits of wisdom. People always ask me what my handicap is? I tell them my swing. Have a good week and make some putts.

This Week In The PGA

by Thomas Moreland… This week was a good one for golf fans.

I can’t remember the last time three players shot four sub-70 rounds on a good course like Doral. The weather in South Florida was fantastic and the scoring showed that conditions were ideal.

Phil Mickelson held off Nick Watney to win for the second time this season. Both players already had one win, so Phil jumps up to number one for the season.

Geoff Ogilvy will be right there, this season, and now everyone waits to see if Tiger comes back strong as well.

Tiger shot eight under par the last two days, and just needs to get the rust off his putter.

My fantasy team which included Tiger, this week, did pretty well.  My other three guys, Rory McElvoy, Steve Stricker, and Ian Poulter, notched up a 20th, a 13th, and a 13th, along with Tiger’s ninth place finish.

I may finally catch a  expert, with my point total of around 1250 points and my 36,000  ranking. Look out, Michael Arkush.

In the Puerto Rico Open, Michael Bradley came out on top, and with it an invite to the Master’s in April and other majors in the future.

Next week the PGA plays at the Westin Innisbrook-Copperhead Course in Palm Harbor, Florida.

I have selected some hot players to try and up my fantasy points next week.

My A player will be Jim Furyk, who was the other player this last week to shoot four rounds under 70 and capture third place at the WGA Golf Championship at Doral, behind Phil Mickelson and Nick Watney.

My B players will be Nick Watney, who is hot, and Zach Johnson who is playing pretty well this season also.

My C player will be Ben Crane, who does have a second place this season.

On the bench for back-ups or missed cuts (not likely with these four) will be Kenny Perry, Charlie Hoffman, Steve Stricker, and Kevin Streelman.

This line up looks very good to me, this coming week.

Our next Tiger appearance should be the Arnold Palmer Invitational, where Tiger defends his title, near his home in Orlando, Florida, at Bay Hill.

Yes, I will take Tiger on my fantasy team that week also, as I expect a wire to wire victory on Tiger’s home turf.

Enjoy it while you can, Phil, but all good things come to an end. A Tiger is lurking down the path and he grows hungrier by the hour.

Good golfing to everyone, may the hole seem huge, and the fairways wide.

This Week in the PGA: Back to the East Coast with the Honda Classic

by Thomas Moreland… On Thursday March 5th, play will commence in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, at the Honda Classic. Ernie Els, the well traveled player form South Africa, will defend his title from last season.

This tournament will be played on the PGA National Resort-Champion Course. Tiger will skip this tournament, but we should see him later in the month at Doral, on the Blue Monster Course, at the WGC-CA Championship.

Geoff Ogilvy won the match play in Tucson, for the second time of his career, and will look to win a major championship this season, to perhaps make a run at PGA player of the year.

In the Mayacopa Classic Played in Mexico this week, your winner is Mark Wilson. This will open a lot of doors for him.

Congratulations Mr. Wilson.

My fantasy team of Kevin Na, David Toms, Bo Van Pelt, and Scott Verplank all put up nice point totals for me this week, and I moved up once again to challenge the listed experts.

Next week in the Honda Classic I will field the team of Camilo Villegas, Scott Piercy, Woody Austin, and George McNeil.

On the bench in reserve will be Stewart Cink, Chad Campbell,Briny Baird, and Nick O’ Hern.

It’s been a great week of golf with Tiger’s return and the fact he did play well despite a second round loss in match play. Remember, he was six under par after only 34 holes.

I think you will see him in contention in a couple of weeks playing in Florida.

Make some putts and have a great week.

The Earliest 2009 NFL Preview Possible

by Thomas Moreland… Welcome to the state of the NFL before free agency strikes. Some teams will benefit from the host of talent suddenly becoming available this week, while others hope the draft solves their deficiencies.

I will go over each division and tell you what to expect in 2009.

AFC North

We will begin with the division that produced our Super Bowl-champion Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers capped off an incredibly difficult schedule by winning the big game as a No. 2 seed in the playoffs, flying in under the radar a bit.

I think the Steelers will continue the dominance we saw last season. Mike Tomlin is a good leader and motivator, and this will be a tough win for most teams in the NFL.

The Ravens will have more experience, but quarterback Joe Flacco can only take them so far. I think this team is again doomed for just a wild card berth and an early exit. Cleveland will make it to 8-8 or maybe even 9-7 if Brady Quinn continues to improve at the quarterback position. Cincinnati will be stuck in last place.

AFC East

Miami should be competitive and perhaps grab a wild card, but I am expecting a bit of a letdown after their resurgent season.

The Jets and Buffalo will not be able to keep pace with New England and Miami this coming season.