Guess that Ass - that used to be hot!

Now let me just say that this USED to be one hot ass, but since she retired from the “Best ass in the business” league, she’s let the ass slide. Now let me ask you, shouldn’t she stop warring does skimpy bikinis. I’m not saying its time for grandmas’ body cover, but come on, either shape up or change the style…here are some pictures when the ass was smoking hot.

The Past Was Glorious…

by Randy Young…

The trajectories of the two once storied but now, beleaguered franchises parallel one another so much, it’s eerie. The city of Toronto’s Blue Jays, and the equally beloved (by TV viewers of a certain demographic) TGIF night on ABC. That block of late ‘80s to 2000’s, guilty-pleasure programming matches very closely, the equally gaudy uniform choices of the baseball team in question here.

JP Richardi was summoned to Toronto as the boy genius protégé of Billy Bean, visionary General Manager of those perennial contenders, The Oakland Athletics. “Money ball” was the game he knew so well. Building a yearly contender with no funding was the game plan, but all JP has shown he can do, is produce less wins, the larger the injections of ownership cash-money becomes. The addition of JP to the Toronto organization harkens to the ABC Friday night crew hitching their wagon to Kelly Ripa. No. It’s no good.

When compare the Jays, and TGIF we could basically describe them both with the same terms. Think about it. They both finished at or near the top of the rankings every season. Consistently trusty line-ups, were their hallmark. They delivered week after blessed week with small changes to keep the show fresh and maintain momentum (see Family Matters and the addition of the cherubic, dancing Little Richie.)

For every solid starter, like Jimmy Key, there was an Uncle Carl. For every mercurial star like Roberto Alomar, there was a Balki Bartocomus, who shot across the night sky in a flash, disappearing before we knew he was there.

The saddest thing about this comparison is that it continues. The present-day ABC line-up is a horror show, as is the current Blue Jay’s roster.

JP Richard is lost. Unfortunately, if you’re a Southern Ontarian baseball fan who enjoys live baseball, you are forced to follow the blind. So, here comes Cito. Oh, happy day! I’m not readying the popping corn anytime soon to hunker down to an 8 o’clock date with the newest Steve Urkel spin-off. Both champions had multiple seasons of success and glory and they both, I say very confidently, belong in the past.

This hiring proves to me that Richardi is not only desperate, but out of options. His chest no longer puffed out, his ego deflated and backed into a corner, JP’s final card to play is – wait for it – Cito. Now, he can say, “See? It’s not me! It’s the ‘David Cone-curse!’” If the team still sucks with a two-time World Series manager at the helm, it CAN’T BE MY FAULT.”

No, JP. It’s not your fault. It’s you faults. Plural. His false Bravado(annually picking his team to compete for the division, when the Yankees and Red Sox are clearly the class of the East), loud-mouthed antics (bringing his own performance and that of the team under the microscope instead of flying under the radar. See Adam Dunn) and poor spending habits (regularly purchasing the services of old retread and injury-plagued players, assuming that the trend won’t continue) are all things that followers of the team have seen all too often.

JF Richardi was brought to Toronto as a disciple of the great Billy Bean. I assume that the doomed Jays GM was as bored as I am when I go to church, because he obviously slept through the crux of the sermons.