Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell is not “Twinkletoes”

August 22, 2009

by Dorothy Willis… Admittedly, I have been living in a fog since it was announced that Chuck “The Iceman” Liddell is going to appear as a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars.”

Surely, there has been some mistake.

There is a fighter in MMA who is known as “Twinkletoes,” but it certainly is not Liddell.

In the three years that I suffered through Junior Cotillion, I met a lot of guys who resembled Liddell.

All were prone to belonging to herds of other adolescent boys, who in spite of their height or pretensions of maturity, enjoyed ogling the young women who were developing breasts, curves and hips, making “cute” comments to make those girls blush and the other members of the herd chortle loudly and shuffle their feet.

None of these bruisers were much in the dancing department, although they did leave their marks on many of the young lovelies’ feet.

It was my great misfortune to have attained the unusual distinction of being 5′8″ and developing C cup breasts at the age of 12. That made me as tall or taller than most of the “guys,” but very interesting due to my early blooming, so to speak.

Rather than making me the belle of the ball, this made me a possible target of lust, but not a desirable dance partner, perhaps due to the phenomenon of undesirable yet spontaneous erections.

To return to my current topic, though, in my wildest moments, I have never pictured Mr. Liddell as a dancer.

True, I have seen the pole he had installed in his rec room. From what I have seen of it in the background at some of the videos shot at his parties, the pole is more of a “chick” than a “Chuck” thing.

I doubt he had his own “dancing” in mind when he had it installed.

And as far as I can say, the only dancing I have seen the Iceman involved in has been on the receiving end of lap dancing. In these cases, I doubt he was sober enough to dance, let alone walk. I do not remember him standing up afterwards either.

So now I am supposed to believe that Liddell can dance well enough to compete on a national television show?

Wait a minuteis this Dana punking his old buddy once again?

Well, yes, I will most likely be watching to see all of Liddell’s moves. Depending on his degree of success, I may again be revisiting my cotillion memories.

Perhaps, like my date for the final prom, Liddell will develop Chicken Pox.

If not, someone please stop him!

Why Didn’t Dana White Let BJ Penn Fight Anderson Silva?

August 10, 2009

by Dorothy Willis… Does anyone besides me wish that Dana White had encouraged BJ Penn to fight Anderson Silva in his quest to own belts in two weight divisions?

Now, I will admit that I do not understand Dana White’s reasoning in the least and never really have.

Why he announced the retirement of his friend Chuck Liddell without forewarning the Iceman, thus causing a painful and humiliating situation for his “good friend,” was very curious behavior in my way of thinking.

Taking Anderson Silva to task for having two “uninspiring” fights in a row also seemed more than a little tacky, to me at least, considering the fact that Silva is still an undefeated champion.

Knowing how annoyed BJ made GSP during the 24/7 special should have prompted Dana to sick BJ on Anderson. What better stimulus to want to beat the bejesus out of someone could exist?

Can you say “super fight?”

I would have knocked myself out to see such a match up!

Imagine the Spider pouncing upon the mouth that roared and mummifying him in his web. Oh my, I tremble at the very thought of it!

Trash talk undoubtedly lead to Georges’ enthusiastic beat down of the Hawaiian beach bum at UFC 94.

A match between two BJJ champs in either Brazil or Hawaii would be an instant classic, if I am not mistaken. How could Dana deprive fans of that pleasure?

He put the super-freak of nature, Brock Lesnar in the ring against much smaller former MMA champions in Lesnar vs. Couture and then Lesnar vs. Mir, so why the concern over BJ’s “smaller frame?” Is BJ more a more valuable commodity to the UFC than Captain America?

If BJ’s mouth, trash talking, and pre-fight histrionics did not inspire AS to commit some in the cage violence, then I don’t know what ever will provoke the man.

Surely the sweet as apple pie Opie Taylor double Forrest Griffin does not make an opponent as rabid as the pompous Hawaiian emperor does.

Penn’s “to the death, Georges” threats, if aimed at Anderson, might just unleash a volcano of fury unlike the lava eruptions seen in his native land if BJ was locked in the octagon with the lithe Brazilian.

Would BJ’s ability to put his foot behind his head help him untangle the pretzel Anderson would surely make of him? I am betting that it wouldn’t as it didn’t help much to prevent Georges’ domination in their fight.

Well, after the fight with Ken Florian, perhaps BJ and Dana will reconsider the challenge this would present for the Prodigy.

And if not the challenge, perhaps the business opportunity and prospect of the megabucks it would bring might tip the balance.

With the recent loss of Fedor, Dana should consider this other option for raking in the cash.

My boycott of the UFC PPV’s and all its products would fly out the window faster than you can say “Hawaiian Punch!”

No… I am not kidding!

Death To The UFC! Down With MMA!

July 23, 2009

by Dorothy Willis… Oh Grandma!

How sweet!

Look at that innocent little boy smile.

So totally without guile.


And pigs fly!

Grandma Dee has lived on a farm too long not to recognize any type of shit once she has stepped in it.

And now I am feeling like quite the fool!

It took my last article, and then reading about what Lorenza Fertitta just proclaimed, to recognize that I have stepped in it big time.

Now I want to clean off my foot.

Yes, damn it, grandma does around go barefoot.

One would think at my age I would know better.


Now the mouthpiece of the King of the UFC says that if the fighters refuse to fight their brethren, it’s out of the UFC for them.

Well, guess what, Lorenzo?

Guess it is time for decent God-fearing people like Granny to bow out and encourage my fans to walk away with me.

My hard earned dollars have bought every PPV of UFC events that have come down the pike.

Tee shirts, hats, dvd, posters, watches, and numerous memorabilia too.

But no more from this old girl.

My UFC days are over.

Do you hear me, brother Joseph? I am done with the UFC, and maybe all MMA as well.

This old girl is too close to going home to heaven on high to be flirting with the greedy, deceitful devils that own the UFC.

Turning over a new leaf is not all that hard for a true believer, so I am moving on to something less ungodly.

Although I am not sure what, it will not have Frank, Lorenzo, or Dana White’s name associated with it.

Greed has killed off many men, and now it will choke out the once loyal people whom have thus far supported the UFC.

Dana White would set Lorenzo against his own brother, just as Lorenzo is proclaiming they will set Rashad against Keith, to make more bucks.

None of the UFC bigwigs paid attention in Catholic school when the nuns spoke of the lesson of Cain and Abel.

Well, wake up America!

There is sin in your midst masquerading as sports entertainment, and it is marked with Satan’s mark, “UFC.”

They want your money and your soul, so beware!

It was not enough to make money by the fist-full on their gambling casinos by preying on that particular crowd of sinners–now they are after those wanting a pure sport.

Will you let these soul-less scoundrels rake you into their den of iniquity with a giant who smiles to hide his ruthless spirit?

Not me, count Grandma out.

You UFC three may laugh, but these are hard times and people do not enjoy being deceived by those who already have their hand in the till.

Gold can not buy me, nor bind my soul.

Out damned sport!

Hell awaits you.

UFC 100: Will It Set the World on Fire?

July 11, 2009

By Dorothy Willis… Maybe the whole world is not ablaze with anticipation of the MMA event of the year, UFC 100, but I certainly am having unexpected hot flashes and night sweats over it.

None of my friends have heard from me, and I get emails asking about my health and well being.

As hard as I tried to remain quietly optimistic, the anticipation is wearing away my patience and good nature.

Wait a minute!

I am not really known for being good natured, am I?

It seems more that I am likely to tick off all of my once good friends with my frequent mood swings and hyper-irritability, right?

OK. I’ve located the real Granny now.

Reading all the hype about the card for July 11 has caused a dimming of my vision that usually is associated with only the worse exacerbation of my disease, Multiple Sclerosis.

In the past I have actually experienced spells of blindness due to “my disease.”

Although I actually did not choose to “have it,” the results are still the same, and I am plagued with stress over my favorite past time, MMA.

Going into this event I wanted three results: to come out of their matches victorious. Dan Henderson, Frank Mir and Georges St-Pierre.

Then I began to bargain with God.

OK. It is my worst habit and I will admit it.

First, I decided that if Bisping won, it wouldn’t cause the world to crack open with a gush of lava.

Then, I decided that since a former friend would indeed survive if Frank Mir didn’t win and put Brock Lesnar where we both agree he belongs, I guess that life would go on in Nova Scotia.

The deal breaker, of course, is Georges St-Pierre

No one works harder than Georges to be where he is, regardless of what others may claim.

Even my Creator will acknowledge this, so I don’t feel I am asking for too much.

Because life can be exhausting for me and pondering the Alves vs St-Pierre question has weighed so heavily on my mind and completely wrecked my diet, I have been sleeping excessively.

There are only two people my husband would dare wake me up to talk to and, of course, they have not called.

Saturday can not arrive too soon!

If anyone asked at this point who else is on the card, I really could not say.

Life has revolved around the three fights and my back and forth predicament—if you can only choose one…

Well, the world may not come to an end, but for me it is hanging in the balance until the final results are in and God sends an answer to my offers of obedience if I can just have that one thing.

Come on! You all know what that one thing is, don’t try to mess with Grandma!

Dana White Bans More Tees?

July 8, 2009

By Dorothy Willis… Grandma was in a bad mood before attempting to write this article, and after the photo I chose to upload was repeatedly rejected, Grandma is boiling mad.

Naturally, since I was already primed to give Dana White a piece of my mind, the anger will be projected onto him.

Dana…you are not the boss of me!

I buy tee shirts for my family members and have bought several different brands.

America is the land of diversity.

America probably leads the rest of the world in sports merchandising and athlete endorsements.

When you banned the Affliction name tee shirts from which many of my favorite MMA fighters received endorsements, I felt it was a ludicrous measure to take.

Now the UFC has banned One More Round, Rolling Stone, Dethrone and Hayabusa, brands which Denis Kang and other Canadian fighters wear.

Certain apparel companies were contacted and told that to sponsor any UFC fighter, a fee of $100,000.00 paid to the UFC would be necessary first.

Since, after all, the fans can wear whatever they choose, why mess with the companies wanting to sponsor UFC fighters?

Answer: Corporate Greed and more money in the UFC coffers.

With Matt Hughes having his own brand, your buddy Matt, remember Dana, why would you want to pick a fight with these other brands?

It is true that you are not making money on brands other than the UFC, but many of your fighters have their own brands, not just Matt Hughes.

Will all UFC fighters be restricted to what brand names they may wear?

Why Dana and why now?

If you were going to ban Affliction, why didn’t you simply ban all brands except UFC wear right from the beginning?

You do realize that the fans attending UFC events may still wear any brand clothing they desire, don’t you?

Dana, this is still the US of A and not the UFC.

Americans can still have a choice.

Or is this a prelude to a new dress code?

On top of paying $300 and up for one seat, do you expect to require “proper UFC attire” of all those attending future events?

Well, I have news for you: Grandma Dee likes to design her own tee shirts and does not limit her choices to the UFC roster.

I am very proud of my originality and love to express myself in tees.

Are you going to ban all Grandma Dee designed fight wear? Cause if you are, you got some serious “splainin” to do, and I will see you in court.

Freedom of expression is a right that you can not legislate, Mr. White. As a tee shirt wearing adult, you should be well aware of this.

In the 1970’s, I was called to my children’s grade school due to them wearing Farrah Fawcett tee shirts which were very popular but considered “racy” at that time.

I gave my consent and was very disturbed when the school felt it necessary to tape over the breast portion of the shirt or insist my boys turn their shirts inside out.

When we attended any extracurricular events we all wore our Farrah shirts with an in-your-face attitude and you-are-not-the-fashion-police attitude.

Surprise! The “authorities” did not say a thing and our sons were less harassed as other families followed suit and many more kids wore the Farrah shirts to class.

I reiterate, this is America/Canada. the clothes we wear are sacrosanct. Leave them alone.

And don’t try to dictate to fighters what brands they choose to endorse.

If you paid a whole lot better, fighters would not need to supplement their salaries.

Incidentally, I am thinking about putting out a new “Granny Dee’s Elixir for MMA Fighters’” and may pay a few of your fighters to become spokesmen for my brand.

Tell me Dana, are you going to try to ban that too?

What next?

A fee to use the toilets?

Grandma Gets Drilled, Talks MMA and Learns Dentist Likes Michael Vick!

June 5, 2009

By Dorothy Willis… If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all!

After being intubated (or extubated, since I do not remember either), two fillings were knocked off my upper teeth, requiring having them refilled. As always I ventured off to the dentist well prepared to educate anyone or everyone I came in contact with about MMA and  as usual, Georges St. Pierre.

Unfortunately my conversation starter GSP shirts were all in the laundry due to the recent spate of appointments I have had which all resulted from my surgery on May 20th. Thinking back on it now I wonder if the anesthetist knocked my fillings loose due to my “teaching him” all about MMA and GSP…Nah! He was too much of a professional to do that.

Today, however I had to swallow true fear upon learning that my dentist was a Michael Vick fan.

I did learn a valuable lesson about keeping my mouth shut (figuratively speaking of course or I couldn’t have had the teeth filled), and not argue with the man with the drill.

Other than having a small panic attack, forgetting to breathe one time, and swallowing parts of my old, drilled out filling leadin to a coughing/choking fit, I didn’t fare too badly at the hands of the Michael Vick fan, who now knows as much about gentleman Georges St. Pierre as he does about the pit bull killer Michael Vidk.

Our exchange of knowledge on the two men was remarkable, however, because unlike with my comments to readers, I was in no position to argue with Dr. S due to his hand and instuments being in my mouth at the time.

Thus I learned all about Vick’s days at Virginia Tech and other details I had not really desired to learn.

But fair is fair and it was almost like having an out of body experience for me to imagine seeing myself lying rigidly on the reclined dental chair as my husband answered all the questions the dentist had about MMA and GSP.

Who ever would have believed that my avid NASCAR loving husband could have learned so much about “my sport” to be able to correctly answer questions for me!

What a tremendous relief to have him channeling my thoughts and relaying them to the dentist.

So the upside of my visit, other than two very expensive fillings, was that my dentist told me about some very expensive mouth guards that actually enhance an athlete’s ability to breathe by encouraging a forward placement of the lower jaw, while increasing the fighters strength!

Wow! What a neat concept!

If a mouth guard had been available I would have purchased one for my grandson for football and wrestling this fall.

Did you know that even golfers are wearing these mouth guards to strengthen their swings?

Well neither did I.

Dr. S assured me that athletes in all sports are buying these devices at two thousand dollars each.

Pricey, but if they are all he says that they are, it is 2K well spent.

So as a result of the one sided conversation on Michael Vick we all agreed he is a despicable person where morality is concerned, but possibly still a good enough player for an NFL team to take a chance on this year.

Further more I learned that an office worker there was an aunt of a fighter named “Garcia” who is currently fighting in the MMA.

Although I didn’t get to meet her,  the assistant working on me and the doctor want to see the picture Georges autographed and sent to me when I come in for my checkup, so I may meet her then too.

Oh, the only UFC fighter my dentist recalled watching was Tito Ortiz, so Dr. S is not at all current on his MMA viewing.

Naturally, I made him promise to purchase the PPV for UFC 100 so he can update his knowledge of GSP.

He made me promise to agree to giving Michael Vick another chance.

Funny what I will agree to with a drill in my mouth!

Dana White: “Are We There Yet?”

May 9, 2009

By Dorothy Willis… Parents hate weekend get aways with the children and the frequent whining, “are we there yet?” Nothing can shorten a fuse more quickly than continuing to ask the question.

Apparently Dana White, one of the “parents” of the UFC, is completely worn thin by one question.

A resounding “NO!” is his answer to the question of Anderson Silva fighting Roy Jones Junior, even if the fight occurs inside a cage in a UFC event: the answer is still No!

And just as a parent might tell their child that something is not good for them, Dana is claiming the reason for the answer is that a Roy Jones Jr. vs Anderson Silva match up “would not be good for the sport of MMA.”

How ironic!

Just weeks ago Dana White was bemoaning the fact that the Anderson Silva vs Thales Leites match ?was not exciting enough and let all the fans down.”

Anderson has wanted only one particular fight for over a year now and that fight is with Roy Jones Jr his boxing hero. He has wanted it so badly that he only agreed to fight one more year in the UFC just to be able to have a chance at Jones before Jones retires.

That is desperation, which is something never seen in MW champion A. Silva before.

Now White wanted an exciting, crowd attracting Silva fight that would sell PPV’s and put butts in seats: shouldn’t he be jumping up and down in glee?

How is this bad for the UFC?

Wasn’t it Dana White who braved the criticism of thousands of MMA fans by bringing former WWE champion Brock Lesnar into the UFC as a money making investment?

It certainly was the work of Dana White in propelling Lesnar to a champion without having to climb up the obligatory ladder that other UFC contenders are forced to climb.

Isn’t it Dana White who wants to increase the popularity of MMA in foreign nations all over the world? This fight would attract world interest.

How is this particular fight “bad” for MMA and the UFC in particular?

Some suggest that making this fight a reality would anger fans that White has not yet been able to secure Fedor Emilianenko to fight a HW UFC champion to end the question of Fedor’s status as best P4P fighter of all time.

White apparently only welcomes fights that result from his imagination and are not claimed as someone else’s brainchild. Only his willingness to be innovative counts, not the ideas of his own fighters or the public.

Well, how “White” of him. Dana is one of a kind; I personally thank God for that, as more than one Dana White would be insufferable.

Still, I am left with the question of “why not?”

If Anderson gets this one fight that he wants more than anything else, his whole outlook on resigning from the UFC could be changed.

Seeing a motivated, happy Anderson Silva would be a dream come true for millions of fans, so I am still asking…

Dana, “Are we there yet?”

What? No May 15th Fight For Kim Couture and Miesha Tate?

April 30, 2009

By Dorothy Willis… Wowie! Talk about interesting!

Some new sh*t just hit the fan, or fans perhaps would be more accurate.

Apparently I am not the only MMA loving female to ever make a gaffe. Unfortunately, Brian Oswald was not there to help correct Miesha before she released a bombshell blog on her MySpace page.

Miesha excused releasing the news that her proposed fight with Kim Couture was off due to “marital problems that Kim was having,” as a mistake.

Kim of course is the 35-year-old second wife of legendary MMA fighter Randy         “the Natural” Couture and works alongside him in his gym and other businesses.

Apparently there have been rumors around the gym of some sort of discord which has lead to Kim pulling out of the fight and Strikeforce having to scramble to find a replacement in the 135 pound weight class to face Miesha.

Poor shagrinned Miecha says she had no idea that releasing the news the way she did would result in such an uproar.

I am not at all familiar with Ms. Tate as a fighter, but in a cat fight I would say that she has the ”catty” part down to an art form, wouldn’t you?

Hey Chuck Liddell…Now Who’s Your Daddy?

April 19, 2009

By Dorothy Willis… The scene was enough to melt the coldest heart!

When the final blow struck Chuck Liddell, it appeared that he would cry.

No, I am not talking about the blow by Shogun Rua that laid Chuck out on the mat, or the last blow Rua landed before the ref pulled him off the fallen idol of millions of MMA fans, as the Iceman lay almost in a fetal position on the floor of the octagon.

The blow I am referring to was even worse than a feared low blow to the groin.

As Chuck, in all his sorrow, tried to exit the octagon, he once considered his home, he was pulled aside by Dana White and told to remain.

Dana White was supposed to be Chuck Liddell’s dearest friend.

They buddied around and partied together, entertained each other in their homes, were friends to each other’s children—they were everything best pals should be: always there for each other, they protected each others backs.

In fact, Chuck had just stood up for friend Dana who had been lambasted for an unfortunate choice of words which enraged even non-fans of the MMA, by excusing him because—”that’s just typical Dana and his mouth.” No biggie!

But like the loyal guy he is, Chuck remained behind to be confronted with a microphone and the really low blow from friend Dana, as delivered by Joe Rogan in an upbeat voice, that this would in essence be Chuck’s last fight in the UFC.

Way to go Dana! Why not just hit him while he is down.

The suffering in Liddell’s eyes was plain for all to see. The ultimate sense of betrayal.

He had lost the fourth of his last five fights and now had been cut off at the knees by one he considered a friend.

How humiliating for him.

As much as I have voiced a dislike for Chuck’s character, I almost cried at the cruel sight.

This will haunt me for a long, long time.

A Note To The Fertitta Brothers Re: Dana White

April 6, 2009

by Dorothy Willis… In these hard economic times, I am assured that two businessmen such as yourselves recognise how difficult it is to increase the cash flow of any business, let alone a sports’ related entity.

During tough times the public is more willing to sacrifice entertainment to focus on the bare necessities of life.

Few families are willing to risk not having the money to see that their children are well fed or that they will be able to fill up the gas tank of their cars by spending money on ever expensive Pay Per View Shows or actual tickets to an expensive event, even if it is playing in their home town.

While ordinary folks are having to tighten their belts, there are ways that you, Lorenzo and Frank Fertitta, can make a profit and take a huge burden off the shoulders of a close friend.

Of course I am referring to Dana White.

For years now, when ever Dana finds an occasion to speak of the UFC he relates that HE is the hardest working guy within the whole ******* organization.

He makes no bones about this and emphasizes it frequently to all who will listen.

Dana has a young family and also admits to being the sport of MMA’s biggest fan.

Then Dana launches into a description of his frantically hectic average business day.

It would be quite a headache for a team to take on what Dana states he is forced to do to make the UFC successful.

Lately Dana has shown signs of increasingly unstable behavior.

His vlogs show him engaging in juvenile behavior and encouraging the grown men who represent the UFC to engage in the same foolish activities.

Is this childishness truly a benefit or a turnoff for weary workers who do not have the luxury of acting out in this way on their jobs?

Dana represents the UFC while acting like a street thug and using the F word publicly as if he coined the word himself and is bragging about it.

Does Dana get a raise for every F word that he has the balls to utter on behalf of the UFC?

Somehow I doubt that either of you bandy offensive language in public when going about, your other business enterprises the way Dana does in the UFC.

In the world of big business, such behavior is fool hardy: Image is everything when you intend to succeed in an impressive manner.

Now Dana is throwing out terms showing unhealthy bigotry in the currently PC atmosphere of our world.

Calling a woman a bitch and referring to others in the MMA as being “fagots” is not conducive to good business or publicity for any organization.

Were Mr. White not your close friend and operating under your auspices, he would have been thrown out with the trash long ago to make way for an even tempered man who can dress and act the part of a CEO in a multi-million dollar industry.

The funniest aspect of this whole situation is that Dana’s long time foe Tito Ortiz would make a far superior president for the UFC.

Tito is also from the tough streets, but can temper his language and knows when to hold his tongue. He dresses impeccably and as Donald Trump will confirm, has what it takes to make a good impression in the world of high finance.

Although Tito also has new twins to raise, he is intelligent enough to delegate the small stuff and concern himself with the meat and potato issues of the organization.

Since there are other alternatives to someone who enjoys acting like a pr*ck in public and advertises the fact that he is doing it deliberately.

So why not give Dana a chance to sit back and become the most wealthy UFC fan on the block, thus allowing him to enjoy the fruits of his labor?

His hard work has caused him to lose sight of the importance of being a figurehead who is above reproach.

He can enjoy all he has made possible and still stroke his massive ego from a seat in an over-sized easy chair in front of a giant TV at home with the comfort of his family.

Don’t allow your friend to be the instrument of his own and possibly your destruction.

Wouldn’t that be the best solution to an on coming collision with reality that will do  unmistakable damage such as a train versus car wreck when it hits destroying all you have invested in the UFC?

I am sure you both know the answer to this question.

Peace out, brothers.

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