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by Greg Caggiano…
After months and months of waiting, Mats Sundin has finally made his decision. Out of all the places it could have happened, it happened in the grocery store. Mats was picking up his weekly supply of whole milk, pickled herring, cheese balls, and pringles when he made his way to the check out aisle.
The line was long and gave him time to ponder a very serious decision, one that he hadn’t been able to make in weeks to come. Every week he would head over to the grocery store hoping to make the right decision only to return home to his nagging wife, who would yell at him and belittle him, before saying he chose wrong.
Now, with an overweight woman with two full carts in front of him he had plenty of time to stand there and think, making sure he knew what he wanted to do. He grabbed a bottle of Evian water (spell that backwards), sipped it, and pondered quietly to himself with screaming babies in the aisle next to him.
As the items in the cart in front of him were rung up, he neared closer and closer to his decision. Then, it was his turn at the register. He slammed his items up on the counter and as they rolled down the conveyor belt to the bagging area, the cashier asked him a question.
He stood there for four hours, not knowing what to say while angry customers yelled, he was in a trance-like state as he seemed to be able to see the future. It seemed he would be there forever. But then, out of nowhere, the answer hit him as if a ton of bricks had fallen on his bald little head; the answer to his prayers had been found.
He would make his wife happy, his family happy, and most importantly, himself happy. He now knew this was the right move and enthusiastically yelled his answer at the cashier, before exiting the grocery store in a rage of excitement. I guess you’re wondering what question could make him reach his decision, eh?
Well, the question was “Paper, or plastic?” and Mats’ answer was “Paper.” Thank God, it is now over, and we can now go on with our lives.
Now, you’re thinking, man it’s the last long weekend of the summer. The Ex is almost over, time to go back to school, or maybe you bumped into your snow shovel on the way home from that fucking incredible traffic jam…life sucks, right? Wrong my friends, you come to T.O. Sports, and what do you see, the best GTA we’ve put up yet. I mean this chick is so hot! I feel like packing my bags and moving to California or maybe Aussie land. Enjoy the weekend, and make sure you Guess That Ass! “nome same”?
by Jamie Uyeyama… You know what I hate? I hate that there are things in the States that we Canadians can’t get up here. Why can’t we have Milky Way when we want it? Why can’t we have a Jack in the Box drive thru open late after the bar? Are we not good enough to get ESPN or HBO?
It’s just not fair.
Sure, we have ketchup chips, Coffee Crisp, and Timmy Ho’s, but are you telling me you would not trade all of these things for chance to buy a slice at Sbarro every time you go to the mall? I would in a heartbeat. (Ok, maybe I wouldn’t include the ketchup chips in the deal.)
The sad thing is that Americans tend to take all of the things we call our own and it’s not even a blip on the radar to them when something like MTV eventually makes its way to us in Canada. They even take our celebrities!
That’s kind of the way it works. You can’t blame anyone for reaching for the fame and fortune that exists down south, but it’s nice to have some celebrities that we can claim all to ourselves… at least for now.
So with that in mind, here are the top ten women who, as of right now, are only available to Canadian audiences.
10. Dina Pugliese
If you live outside of the T dot then maybe you are not as familiar with Dina as everyone around here is (she hosts Breakfast Television on City TV in Toronto). I got a chance to first see her as the host of Much Music’s VJ search and my immediate reaction was, “Where the hell has Much Music been hiding this girl?” CHUM should can Leah Miller and her gargantuan cranium and get Dina involved in Much Music more. I think she might be over the age limit to appear on a music channel, but we can all make an exception.
9. Sugar from YTV
I know what you guys are thinking, but she’s actually 28 years old. She was the first kinda sorta celebrity that I encountered when I moved to TO and let’s just say she has grown up a bit from here days of introducing Pokemon.
8. Sarah Meehan
If you’ve seen her on Drive This on Hardcore Sports Radio and the Score then you know that she’s smart, hot, and likes sports. What else is there in life?
7. Natalie Brown
Is there anything worse than the promotion of terrible shows on CBC during the Olympics? I almost stopped watching the Salt Lake City Olympics because of the ads for Tom Stone. This year at least they had one promo that didn’t make you want to flip to NBC when they showed Natalie Brown in a show called Sophie. Will I ever watch a full episode of Sophie? Ummm, no. But I might stick around for a minute or two because of Natalie Brown.
6. Eva Avila
Winning Canadian Idol is the kiss of death for a music career. I’m sorry to say that, none of the winners have ever gone on to anything greater than having modest success in Canada. Even worse is that if you win you will forever be linked to Ryan Malcolm. Who ever thought winning something would be a no win situation? At least Eva Avila will be able to stick around longer than most Canadian Idol’s based on looks alone.
5. Sara Orlesky
The Canadian version of Erin Andrews. In other words she is probably about a 7.5 but moves up to a 9 because she is a sports reporter.
4. Jessi Cruickshank
You know how there are some girls who might not catch your eye the first time, but they just start to grow on you? That’s Jessi from MTV Canada. Maybe it’s the red hair. Whatever it is, she just wins you over.
3. Lauren Toyota
First of all, there is no way her real last name is Toyota. She definitely changed it for television purposes. She is definitely half Japanese though and everybody knows I’ve got nothing but love for all halfers. She is presently the host of Going Coastal on Much Music and the cool thing about her is that she can’t be classified as a traditional beauty. She is a lot closer to a Suicide Girl than a girly girl. Not going to lie, I think that is what I like most about her. Oh yeah, and I did I mention that she is half Japanese?
2. Sitara Hewitt
Who would have guessed that an actress from CBC’s Little Mosque on the Prairie would be on this list? Well, I guess anyone would have guessed it if they saw what Sitara Hewitt looked like. If she lived in the US then she would definitely be featured in the Maxim Hot 100. I’m officially nominating her to replace Mena Suvari in next year’s edition. Actually I’ll take anyone over Mena Suvari, but if it is Hewitt then that would be even better.
1. Hannah Simone
There are a select few people who are destined to leave Canada for greater things and those same people are the ones that you don’t ever want to leave. Hannah Simone is one of those few. She’s just too damn good to be on Much Music. Too good looking and too smart. That means that one day we won’t get to see her on Canadian TV anymore. So savour the flavour while it lasts. Kind of like a bag of ketchup chips.
For more you can check out his blog Top Cheddar at www.topcheddar.com.
by Aaron O’connell… With a whopping five goals to go along with 18 assists in just 54 games, not to mention a nice fat or should I say overweight salary, Bryan McCabe is surely one of the top defensemen in the NHL.
Maybe if these stats were 2007-2008 power play points. Lets make something clear if a defenseman making over $7 million a year gathers just over 20 points and is a minus two, to me it’s, well, pretty fucking horrible.
And I’m sure nobody forgets those two or three pretty tape-to-tape breakaway feeds to the opposing teams, which in my mind should count against McCabe’s stats if the other team manages to put the puck in the back of the net.
So with all that said Bryan McCabe made over $300, 000 a point last season and as a Leafs fan you have to think the name Van Ryan would look pretty good on the back of the blue and white jerseys for the 08-09 season.
It has been said that new head coach Ron Wilson is high on the Pavel Kubina and will probably place him on the back end of the power play along with Tomas Kaberle so there is really no reason the Leafs shouldn’t send McCabe to Florida for Mike Van Ryan.
I mean McCabe did score 80 per cent of his goals on the power play but when you do the math, those goals add up to the number of one of the greatest defensemen of all time, Mr. Bobby Orr.
I think it’s funny when people say that McCabe is a power play specialist when to me the Leafs have to play short-handed every time he steps on the ice. If the Leafs were down two men on a five-on-three they could put McCabe out as a fourth and probably get away with it.
I’m sure he didn’t fall into the trap of overpaid Toronto athletes who perform miserably in there first year after signing for the big bucks. I think his success in the past was just a fluke.
We all remember when Vince Carter signed his huge deal with the Raptors and then went for a shit the following year. He even said that he was giving 100 per cent every game, which, coming from an athlete, is unheard of.
And then Vernon Wells signed a huge contract with the Jays and followed up with a less than par season.
Don’t get me wrong. I would never compare Bryan McCabe to those two professional athletes because it’s incomparable, it just goes to show that money doesn’t buy winning. But I’m sure $7 million would buy McCabe a beautiful home right on the beach in Florida where he can relax and like when he’s on the ice, go unnoticed while he watches the waves crash to shore.
And hey you can’t be a minus while you’re at the beach.
by James Borbath… Long before I was doing sport writing on the Internet I was a fantasy Sports Junkie. The time for Fantasy Basketball Season is almost here. So I thought I would try to give you some general thoughts on how to improve your fantasy team this season. Many folks think they are the basketball expert and can win their fantasy draft based on that. I am not here to say if you are an expert or not. But even the expert may not make the best fantasy basketball team. So here are some general tips for you to hopefully do well.
Bias is Bad- We all have a Bias towards teams and individual players. If your goal is to win your league you need to look at the draft board with objective eye. If you hate Kobe Bryant but he is the best player on the board you need to take him. It just is that simple. For Raptor fans a lot of them are not exactly T.J Ford fans. But who can deny that T.J should have an improved season in Indiana. Don’t let your hate of a player have you miss out on him. If you pass on T.J passed on Injury concerns that is fine but don’t pass on him because you don’t like him. What I am getting at is know the reason you are passing on a guy and make sure it is based basketball and not opinion.
Know The Rules- Every league has different rules. Understand how you league works and what stats are important to it. I play mostly in Head to Head leagues in which you play against a different team each week. I like that set-up personally. But whatever the set-up is of league you play understand what you need to get the job done. The scoring value of everything is something you need to be aware of. Blocks, Steals, Turnovers what do they mean in your league. When you understand the rules and set up you can plan a way to draft a team that takes advantage of that. Also the way your roster works. How many players actually count for you. Can you make changes daily or weekly. Does your league allow trades is there a limit to the number. Take the extra time to understand the rules.
Keep Up To Date- Prior to your draft make sure you have checked out all the injuries and latest NBA news. Sometimes bad luck will happen after the draft. If there was a draft couple days ago and you picked Monta Ellis you are pretty sad. But if you draft him today and didn’t know he is hurt shame on you. This is one of the simplest things you can do. Also be aware of trades and contract trouble. Anything that can have an impact on a player that you can know you should know.
Do your Homework- Most of the drafts I take part in our live. When your draft time is here have a gameplan. If you don’t know where you will pick have several game plans. The choices you make under the pressure of the clock counting down will not be as good as the ones you make prior to the clock starting. Keep lists of guys you think will be there. Have lists of guys at several positions. By doing this you will make better choices. But also you will not annoy your fellow draft members. Why should that matter? These are the people you may want to make trades with down the line. Be friendly to everyone the guy that talks smack is often not the guy that will win the league. Part of that is because he may not be able to make trades based on his cocky attitude.
Notice the trends- All drafts will develop trends and runs on certain players and positions. Try to see if you can buck that trend and find a quality player at another spot. If you can’t and feel you have to wait to long till your next pick than draft for the spot that is hot. The key is too make a judgement on what player you feel will be left for you if you go a different direction. If you think he is good enough and will be there than buck the trend.
Playing Time Counts- Your best chance at fantasy success is to have a roster of players that will be on the floor. Know and understand how much your guys will play for their NBA teams. The more they play the more chance they have to produce for you. It is also key to understand the role they play for their teams. Our they expected to score, rebound. Like the wrestler the Rock Said Know Your Role…or in this case KNOW THIER ROLE.
Hi-Risk for Hi Reward- If you are a gambler and you think you are right about something take a chance. Guys that have injury histories could fall in a draft. If you are willing to take the risk and draft the player go for it. Jermaine O’Neal says he is healthy and if you believe he is and ready to go. Take the chance. It can pay off big time if your right. But understand you are taking a big chance the higher the pick you use to take whatever player it is. You also can find guys that had bad seasons that you think can bounce back slide down the board keeping with our Raptor Examples two names come to mind, Jason Kapono and Andrea Barganani. If you believe they will make a jump up in their stats go for it. Same thing applies though the higher the pick the greater the risk.
During the Season Be Alert- Always keep active and pay attention to the league. Both you league and the NBA. The Active player always has the best chance to be successful. That is not to say you should make 50 moves. But wise moves throughout the year will help you out.
Don’t fall in love with your Team- Yes we all like to think we drafted a great team and have done a tremendous job. But there are few players that you should not consider making a deal with. It is important to understand the value of your players and how that changes through the year. The best trades are when you buy low and sell high not unlike the stock market. In fact some fantasy games are based in a stock market style. It is very rare that the team you have on draft day will be the team you have at the end of the year and you will be successful.
I am first to admit I don’t have all the answers. If you have tips and tricks for fantasy players and don’t mind sharing them please do. If you have never played fantasy sports you really should give it a shot it is a lot of fun and if you get good at it maybe you can go in some leagues and win some cash. But I don’t recommend playing for cash till you have tried it first. Good Luck to everyone in their drafts. I am going to be having one for the readers of the blog I write and folks at T.O Sports are welcome to take part if you like. But wherever you play do it smart and give yourself the best chance to win you can.
by Daniel Reiter…
The old cliché the best offense is a good defense can be argued up and down the red zone, and putting the stats together to find out how often a top tier defense prevails over a top tier offense would be an exercise in exhaustion. Taking at look at when it matters most will likely tell a similar story and offensive coordinators will likely not embrace the results.
The easiest way to do this is to take a look back at Super Bowl Champions to see how their defense ranks among league leaders compared to their offense. Initially it is pretty easy to see this in effect when considering the results of last season’s Super Bowl where the 7th ranked defense of the Giants prevailed over the league’s top ranked offense and record setting quarterback Tom Brady. It has been drilled into our heads for the past few months so here is a promise that this will be the last you hear of it here.
In the 2005-‘06 season the 4th ranked steel curtain defense of the Pittsburg Steelers was a dominating force that carried them through the playoffs to ultimately take down the Seattle Seahawks, who in their only Super Bowl appearance ever lost 21-10. The Steelers offense was mediocre ranking 16th in the league.
Recently, it has been clear that Patriot teams are not only known for being an offensive marvel but a defensive one as well. Through the 2003-‘04 and 2004-‘05 seasons the Patriots dynasty rode the leagues 7th and 9th ranked defense to Super Bowl victories over the Carolina Panthers and Philadelphia Eagles. In the 2004-’05 season they did have the all around package with the 7th ranked offense in the league which didn’t hurt their chances of winning at all, but the previous season they finished with an offense ranked 18th worst in the league.
Who could forget the 2002-‘03 Tampa Bay Buccaneers and their defense lead by Warren Sapp, who has barely been making ripples on defense lately, but was making title waves for the Bucs that year? They came into the Super Bowl against the highly touted and favorite the Oakland Raiders team, led by quarterback Rich Gannon. Gannon had a stellar season to get the Raiders to the big game, but threw a record 5 interceptions against the #1 ranked Bucs defense. The Bucs certainly weren’t relying on their 24th ranked offense to win them games, although their one sure thing was kicker Martin Gramatica “Automatica” who at the time was one of the best kickers in the league
Still not convinced of defensive domination? Look at the 2000-‘01 season where the Baltimore Ravens laid a beating on the N.Y Giants 34-7. Their defense ranked 1st and their offense ranked 16th. The score doesn’t really show the real defensive slaughter by itself until you factor in that the Giants scored their 7 points on special teams. EVERYONE who watched Super Bowl XXXV must remember this touchdown as it was part of 3 touchdowns in 3 plays, a moment in Super Bowl history. All of which were NOT scored by either team’s offense. It all started with Giants’ quarterback Kerry Collins throwing an interception to Duane Starks which was run back 49 yards for a touchdown. On the following kickoff the Giants’ Ron Dixon returned the ball 97 yards for their only touchdown of the game. To prove there was no comeback in the works Ravens’ Jermaine Lewis decided to return the next kickoff 84 yards for another return for a touchdown, making Super Bowl history with back to back returns for TD’s. Kerry Collins also threw 4 interceptions, which at the time was a Super Bowl record that was since surpassed by the aforementioned Rich Gannon.
There are a few exceptions to everything right? The 2006-07 Indianapolis Colts’ defense was ranked 21st while their offense ranked 3rd. They had a fairly easy 29-17 win over the Chicago Bears for the championship. The 2001-02 Patriots also had a terrible defense most of the season that ranked 24th in the league, but came through in the big game against the high powered offense of the St. Louis Rams in a tight 20-17 win. The game was a defensive battle as the two offensive minded teams were fairly shutdown until Tom Brady drove the Patriots close enough to the Rams red zone to convert a game winning field goal on the last play of the game. Another Super Bowl first by the way.
Pending a few exceptions defense has been what matters in the big game. Looking back at the past 15 years to 1993 the winning team’s defense has been ranked in the top 10 of the league 12 out of 15 times, the trend is probably similar if the stat is taken further back, but the bottom line is obvious defense wins games, particularly the one that matters most.
Quick note to all those doubters: Think back to arguably most exciting Super Bowl of all time – Super Bowl XXXIV. The Tennessee Titans lost to the St. Louis Rams 23 – 16 by mere inches. Defense came through in the final play of the game when Rams’ linebacker Mike Jones tackled Titans receiver Kevin Dyson one yard short of the goal line preventing the game winning touchdown, pending a 2 point conversion of course. It doesn’t get much closer than that.
We at T.O. Sports like to bring you hot talent from all corners of the globe. This young lady, real name Karolina, comes from the great country, Ukraine. Now I went to Humberside C.I. where, half the school body was Ukrainian, and this brings back fond memories of HOT Ukraine cello playing babes… yes long live the Olga’s and Karolina’s of this beautiful world of ours!
by Navin Vaswani… Matt Garza is a Toronto Blue Jays killer. Last night he, once again, bitch slapped our boys. In four starts against the Jays this year, Garza has allowed a paltry one run in 31 innings.
One run. In 31 innings. That is ridiculous.
Sure, Garza is a good young pitcher, but I. Don’t. Get. It. Why can’t we hit this guy? He has thoroughly dominated the Jays his last three times out, and has got a Scott Downs-like 24 1/3 innings shutout streak going against the local nine.
Really, Garza, what the fuck? Over the course of the season, he’s lost to American League bitches like the Seattle Mariners, Baltimore Orioles, Kansas City Royals (twice!), and Cleveland Indians (twice!). But he sure as fuck loves pitching against the Blue Jays.
I don’t know, maybe Garza’s pissed because we tossed him around like a cheap hooker in his Major League debut last year when he was with the Twins, but, well, shit. Enough with the payback, man.
I hate you, Matt Garza.
And poor David Purcey. He was, uh, dynamite last night. It’s a shame he took the complete-game loss. Poor little Purcey.
Check out Navin’s blog Sports and the City
Some of these predictions are based on preseason performances, some are based on last season’s performances, some are based on the fact that I want JP Losman to mow my lawn without his shirt on (if I had a lawn) and some are based on my severe dislike of Brett Favre. His last name should be pronounced Favray!)
AFC Champions:
East: Patriots*
North: Browns**
South: Colts***
West: Broncos****
*Toronto Bills if Brady gets injured mid-season and Cassel has to step in.
**This is their year. Anderson will not falter, he knows that if he screws up Brady Quinn is ready to take the snaps and all the women of Cleveland with him.
***Right now Archie loves Eli more than Peyton. Peyton will call enough audibles to regain Archie’s love and ensure they take the AFC South.
****Cutler + Champ + Boss = PLAYOFFS true story.
NFC Champions:
East: Cowboys*
North: Packers**
South: Saints***
West: Cardinals****
*Giants if Eli plays the way he played in last year’s playoffs OR if Jessica Simpson wears that pink Romo jersey OR if T.O. cries.
**I love A-Rodge. They’re going to win the NFC North just to spite Brett Favray.
***There is no competition in the NFC South. With the addition of J-Shockz and Randall Gay the team gets stronger aaaaand you saw that crazy shit Reggie did (jumping over a Texan), Deuce is healthy, Brees is breezy…I could go on. Don’t even question this one.
****Just kidding. It’s gonna be Seattle, yet again. I’m just soooo over Matt Hasselbitch.
QB’s to watch this year, potential Favre replacements after the old man goes down with an injury in game 4 against Arizona:
Tarvaris Jackson – I like this guy.
JP Losman – I like this guy more. Although I am not digging the woodsman beard he’s rocking in camp BUT he’s been pretty cool about being benched in favor Tredwards who by the way, looks like an asshole.
Chad Pennington – Chennington is gonna play his heart because he a)wants to impress Parcells and b) as an “eff you” to Mangini.
Jay Cutler- Play action Jay.
Jason Campbell–Born Dec 31st, 1981 just like me! He wins at life! Yahtzee!
QB who should be Obama’s running mate: Donavan McNabb – He’s wicked smart.
Team that will surprisingly not suck this year: Oakland Raiders – Jamarcus + McFadden = AWESOME (sometimes Russell looks he just ate a bug but he’s got the tools and the talent).
Team that will surprisingly suck this year: Cincinnati Bengals – For the past few years the Bengals have been hyped for absolutely no reason. Carson Palmer is okay. Chad Johnson is okay. TJ Housyourmomma is okay. None of them are clutch like my boy Derek Jeter who does not play in the NFL but could probably help the Bengals.
Team that is in desperate need of a makeover: Chicago Bears – Kyle Orton and his neckbeard will not save the Bears this season. Sorry Wilbon, but you’re going to have to cheer for your boy McNabb and the Eagles instead.
Coach of the Year: Mike Tomlin – This guy looks like Shaft and the Steelers did pretty well under him last year, expect a repeat.
Super Bowl 43: Broncos 23, Saints 17
OR
Saints 35, Patriots 17 (only if Brady/Moss both get injured if not score will be Pats 56, Saints 35)
My new favorite teams:
Toronto Bills (finally a Toronto sports team I can like!)
The Favre-less Packers (I will personally lead the parade when the Packers take the NFC North)
ILLadelphia Eagles (Obama/McNabb ‘08)
Teams I still have faith in:
New England Patriots (The Tom and Randy Show)
New York Giants (you never know…)
New Orleans Saints (In Payton We Trust)
by Steve Linkert…
Sing it with me. Where, oh, where, did my, Matt Sundin go? Come, on. You know how it goes. Sing it with me!
This is almost as bad as the whole Brett Favre soap opera thingy was, minus all the media coverage, and of course, all the people who care, but nevertheless, Matt Sundin does have a huge milky white smile on his face, so I guess that’s a good thing for him and for the game of stick-puck.
Personally, I think the commissioner of the league Gary Bettman and Matt Sundin are in cahoots right now. Think about it, if the whole Matt Sundin thingy isn’t going on right now, not even a blind man would be tuning into watch stick-puck, considering the NFL season is about to start, the MLB baseball playoffs are just around the corner and everyone who doesn’t watch baseball or football is at home watching paint dry in their basements instead. So, maybe, just maybe, Gary bettman is paying Matt Sundin not to sign a contract until the very last second before the entire NHL folds due to low ratings. That’s my guess.
But back to the matter at hand, Matt Sundin is smiling. Look at his smile. That smile looks like a smile with a huge contract attached to it, doesn’t it? I mean, If I were about to sign a 2-year, $15 to $20 million dollar contract to play stick-puck, I know for a fact that I would have a huge milky white smile on my face as well. Matter of face, if I were about to sign any kind of stick-puck contract that allowed me to play in the NHL, I would first contact my dentist and have him clean my teeth before coming anywhere near a contract that would make me smile like that. I willing to bet, Matt Sundin went to his dentist before this picture had been taken. I wonder what dentist he goes to in Toronto.
It’s funny to me, though, that Matt Sundin hasn’t made up his mind yet on where he wants to play next year. Personally, it’s a no-brainer. It’s actually one of the easiest decision/question that can surround Sundin in this late stage in his career. If I had to choose between: Philadelphia, Toronto, Montreal, British Columbia (I mean Vancouver), or the New York Rangers, my signature, hands down, belongs to the commissioner of the league, signing my retirement papers. Here’s why?
Who wants to play in Philadelphia anyway? Philadelphia hasn’t won a championship in any sport, including stick-puck for the better part of my entire life. Matter of face, the only thing I’ve seen a team in Philadelphia host above their heads, is a case of 24 Coors Lights’ after a long season, trying to drown their sorrows away. Plus, who wants to play wearing orange, white and black anyway? Who are they the Baltimore Orioles?
Now, Toronto, they have the best argument, considering Matt Sundin played his entire careers as a Toronto Maple Leaf, but when it comes down to it, Sundin doesn’t want to play on the first line with a bunch of third line plugs again – third line plugs just doesn’t equal Stanley Cup.
I’m trying desperately, right now, as I’m writing this to come up with just one tiny reason why Sundin should finish his career as a Leaf, but for some reason, I can’t seem to think of any reasons right off the top of my head. One second, I think I got one. Nope, I don’t think that would work. Wait, I think I got one. Nope, that’s stupid. I don’t think that Sundin would appreciate cutting the pizza in the Little Caesar’s cafeteria box during the Leafs’ home games. In a nut shell, the Leafs have no chance whatsoever of re-signing Sundin, unless they find him two wingers to play with on the first line, a new goalie, four new defensemen, a new coach, a new general manager, a new agent, a new dog and a new suit jacket. Look at the one he has on.
Montreal? Do I even need to go through this?
Vancouver? Who wants to fly Vancouver’s demanding schedule at 65-years-old anyway?
I guess this leaves us with the New York Rangers. Matt Sundin can look good in the familiar blue and white, tossing in a little red on the side, I think. Why can’t he? He can make it work? Not only will the colours look good on Sundin, but the city of New York is also a lot like Toronto, minus the fan support, the extraordinary buildings, the Yankees, the fan support and Matt Sundin’s favorite dentist, of course. But it does have the one thing stick-puck needs to function properly, it has snow. That’s a good thing, right? Stick-puck is played in the winter, so snow is a good thing to have if you play for a professional hockey team (I use the term professional very loosely.). Maybe the New York Rangers should put something along those lines in Matt Sundin’s contract. His contract would read: Matt, guess what?
Sundin will ponder what the answer is as he continues reading through the contract. Then he will read: Well, Matt Sundin, we have snow in New York City very similar to Toronto, and where there is snow, there is hockey. Am I right, or am I right?
I’m willing to bet my entire salary, Sundin instantly flips to the back page and signs his name, making him a New York Ranger on the little known fact that there is also snow in New York City. The blue, white and little bit of red mashed into their uniforms is probably the best fit for Matt Sundin, considering I have heard that the city of New York has the best dentists a huge contract can buy. Don’t quote me on that, though.
In my opinion, the game of stick-puck doesn’t interest me as much as say: football, baseball, basketball, listening to my Grandma speak about the good old days, but seeing someone finally smile due to the fact something that has something to do with stick-puck made them, it kind of puts a smile on my face as well. I’m not saying that I’m going to tune in and watch how the Matt Sundin sitcom plays out, but hopefully when this is all said and done, he makes the proper decision, concerning his own needs, and not just the needs of the Toronto Maple Leaf fans.
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