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Home / Archive: 07. January 2009
by Joshua Murray… You can start planning the parade route again Raptor fans; Brian Colangelo has made the move that is going to start our ascent in the Eastern Conference.
As you may or may not have heard (if you’ve been living under a rock) the GM has swung the first trade of the season for the club. It happened today, January 7th 2009 with the Los Angeles Clippers. And now, if you haven’t heard, prepare yourself; sit down if you’re not already in your office chair… Hassan Adams is no longer a Toronto Raptor.
Hassan Adams and his cap crippling $700,000 salary have been moved. In return the Raps will get a conditional draft pick.
Now you may be asking, Josh, how does moving Hassan Adams for nothing help our club?
Here’s the answer. It leaves more room on the bench for the much larger Nathan Jawai once he is in uniform. This young man, the first ever
ever to be drafted to the NBA is a big son of a gun and needs his space once he’s got his warm-ups on. Hassan Adams, he of the full warm-up suit and towel around the neck just would have been in the way.
So, there you have it.
The Toronto Raptors may be on the outside of the play-off race looking in. They may have a terrible reputation of giving up games in the second half. And they still can’t rebound. But now there’s a little more room on the bench.
Cheers,
by Paul Haywood…
Don’t tell me Doc’s getting cranky about pulling too much weight for his crappy ballclub. Awww…suck it up nancy! Dave Stieb, you aint. You don’t even get to start whining yet kid. I mean sure, be a little peeved, and sick of the repetitive crap-out every year, but it pales in embarrassment to the work Stieb put in.
Buckle up Doc, you’ve yet to feel Dave’s pain.
Don’t get me wrong, Roy Halladay is one of the top 2 pitchers in baseball right now, which for me speaks more about the freakshow talent pool Stieb was up against in his prime; freaks like Morris, Guidry, Blyleven, Jim Palmer and his whole rotation, not to mention a juiceless Rocket.
Mr. Stieb gleefully ate 260 innings a year on average at one point.
In 1982, he went 17-14, wolfing 288 innings, for Juan Valdez money. He could be from another planet. Alas even with Upshaw’s 21 homers, and Dave the Martian, that ’82 squad got absolutely fisted in the standings.
Was Dave Stieb a better pitcher than Doc Halladay? on paper? grass?, clay?
For what it’s worth, paper doesn’t mean much, don’t believe me? Why is paper the first rung on the anniversary gift ladder.
“Good first year baby, here’s some paper…”
Divorce anyone? Probably written on paper, lots of paper.
Anywho… Stieb, Halladay. One was great, one has a chance to be greater still, with a fair amount of time on the clock. Then again, one has 103 complete games, the other, 38. With Roy and Stieb, it just might come down to, my crappy ballclubs were slightly better than your crappy ballclubs.
Maybe it’s today’s more caring policy to not burn out your ace’s arm by the time he’s 33.
Or maybe today’s bullpen roles are more defined.
Stieb pitched like he was intent on bailing out the titanic. Halladay’s handlers have done a better job economically plotting his burnout.
So Roy my boy, You don’t have to pitch the whole game every time out, we’re not in Cuba. Save your arm, this team isn’t going do it until you’re 40, and we don’t want you being the spare tire Stieb was in ’92, so just chill out and make your way to the life boats, you know, like last year…and, every year around this time.
by Adam “Sully” Sullivan… So imagine the neighborhood was a comic book (or saturday morning cartoon show, for you illiterate sons of bitches). These following people would be the stars of the show as they are the SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD SUPERHEROES!
AND “The Sentence Finisher”
AKA: The Couple Who Pops In Then Never Leaves
Powers: Inherent immunity to boredom, can produce questions at a super-human rate, impervious to hints
In the middle of something really important? Just ready to sit down to dinner? Haven’t even woke up yet? Dun DA DA…here comes the unstoppable duo of Captain Asks-A-Lot and The Sentence Finisher! One asks inappropriate questions while the other finishes each sentence in your response! Don’t even think about implying that you have better things to do than interact with these heroes, because they know you don’t!
AKA: The Neighborhood Gossip Queen.
Powers: Can dial a phone number in under 1 second, doesn’t need to breathe between
sentences, can see through up to 5 different types of curtains
Wondering who’s wife banged the mail man? Just shit your pants rushing to get your
house keys out? Missed the domestic disturbance last night? Never fear, all your
neighborhood newsy needs will be met and you won’t even have to pick up your
phone! Gossipa is armed with destructive information and poised to materialize
from behind your bushes as soon as you get home!
AKA: Guy Who Always Has To Get The Best Deal
Powers: Impeccable garage sale detection senses, Costco membership, can haggle the
pants off an Eskimo, can maintain an erection for hours by simply looking at the
words: “or best offer”
Looking to be robbed blind selling your washing machine? Have too many VCRs in
your house? Sick and tired of re-stringing your guitar? The Deal Stealer will be
on the scene before you can even write the price on a sticky note. After a brief 5
hour negotiation in which he pretends to walk away multiple times and insults you
twice, that thing you don’t need anymore will be off your hands for far less than
you ever imagined selling it for! Hey and don’t even worry about wanting to
rethink your decision because “a deal is a deal, pal!”
AKA: Guy Who’s Always Working On or Cleaning His Car
Powers: skin grows white undershirts organically, slippery-est hands on the block,
enormous amounts of chest hair
Enjoy catching glimpses of hairy ass cracks? Have you always dreamed of being
whistled at while someone stares at your tits? Do you like being awoken to the
sound of a revving 8 cylinder on a Sunday morning? Dr. Automo KNOWS you do and
he’s more than willing to satisfy all of those desires…plus MORE. He’ll even
come over and stand behind you while you rotate the tires on your car and point
out EACH and EVERY single mistake that you’re making and then he’ll hit on your
wife right in front of you! On top of all that, he smells incredibly bad!
AKA: The Annoying Little Kids of the Neighborhood Who Screw Around Too Much
Powers: A superior toleration of handling dog shit, imaginations strong enough to
turn the hood of your car into a trampoline, much faster on foot than you are
You have an important possession that needs breaking? Haven’t chased anything at
full speed in a while? Looking to blow a tire running over a bicycle? The Little
Shit Super Squad is on the scene! In fact, they’ve been on the scene all afternoon
while you’ve been slaving away at work and they are just waiting for you to sit
down with a glass of red wine so they can test your patience with a rousing game
of Nicky Nine doors.
AKA: Nosey Old War Vet Who’s Always Complaining
Powers: Incredible repertoire of old-timey slang, ability to go from docile to
steaming in under 6 seconds, immunity to joy
Been yelled at for walking your dog lately? Hungry for a verbal assault consisting
mainly of phrases you don’t understand? Craving a good hollerin’ at and a steady
wallopin’? Wrinkles Von Ornery is just one screen door creak away from giving you the
business for starting your car too loudly or having children or keeping your grass too green. Having been through three wars and a depression, Wrinkles Von Ornery has a zero tolerance policy on things that are fun and exciting because those things always “doggone lead to no good”.
Well, it’s time for that 10 minute work out boys… it’ll keep you young. Some info from Carries my space page. “You can see me on air in many of NO GOOD TV’s uncensored original shows, including signature series “Up Close” and “In Bed With”. I have had the pleasure of hanging out with some of the biggest celebrities on the planet. I love breaking down the walls to bring fans closer to their favorite stars!”. Oh Carrie by the way I’m available for a In bed with… interview, any time, really any time.
by Michelle Alves…
I was a normal girl, before this addiction. I was shy, sensitive, never loud, and very polite. My friends loved me, I treated everyone equally and I never fought with anyone. Oh, how I long for those days. Things have changed now, ever since I got hooked on to this damn sport. I have nothing left now.
My Social Life
Is in shatters. I miss parties because I’m at home, watching football. When people call me out I check my schedule first, which consists of match dates and fixtures. I classify people into three different groups.
1) The Liverpool fans—Also known as Upper Class in my dictionary.
2) The non-Liverpool fans—Middle Class, basically includes people who support other teams.
3) The non-watchers—Those who don’t watch football.
It’s not the fact that I’ve classified people that kills my social life. The problem is, I give first preference to the upper and middle class, I feel superior to the lower class, but its a group I haven’t bothered to classify that ruins it all.
The United supporters. How would Victoria Beckham react if a beggar walked into her mansion with muddy feet and dirty clothes? That’s my reaction when I meet Manchester United fans.
But wait, before you get your keyboard out to leave me harsh, hate-filled comments, I have something to say!
Something I’ve learned over the last few weeks, is that not all United supporters are that bad. Some are actually quite fun. Now, this is not an attempt to revive my social life, it’s mainly the truth.
My Voice
Like I mentioned before, I was a shy girl, never one to talk loud or annoy people. I didn’t even know how to scream. In 2002, the FIFA Youth World Cup was held in U.A.E. By then I was sports crazy and finally got a chance to see my first football match.
It was Brazil vs Spain and I was all decked in yellow and green. That night my voice was at a volume never heard from me before. By the time I reached home it felt like someone was dancing with knives inside my throat, but it was worth it. I learned to scream that day, and now I don’t have to be at a game in order to scream. Ask my television set, if it had ears before, its probably gone deaf by now.
The comebacks!
I was never good at comebacks. Ever. If someone insulted me, I’d either cry or say, “Oh yeah…well same to you!”
How things change. Soon, I was the one making people cry.
Ok, well not cry… but come close to it.
My Bedroom & bedroom habits!
“Mum, I’m painting my room red and you can’t stop me!”
You don’t even want to know my mother’s reaction to that. She soon gave up though, I’m not a fun person to argue with nowadays. My usual, dull white room is now a picture of Red and White, full of Liverpool FC posters and banners. Unfortunately now, my mother refuses to enter the room, and I have to clean it up all by myself.
I used to play the guitar, write songs, paint, and read during my free time. Now, its football schedules, fantasy football, designing team kits.
I used to spend time playing with my cat and dog, now they’re on the receiving end of kicks. It took them a while to realise that it was safer running for cover as soon as they saw me coming anywhere near.
The Love Life
Non-existent. Why, you ask? I guess some guys prefer it when you shut up and not go on and on about how the team they support sucks and how they should switch to Liverpool.
If he is not a football fan and somehow we got along, I tend to compare his commitment to Stevie G, dance moves to Peter Crouch, and looks with Torres. Ah, poor me!
My Fashion Sense
Ever since football took over my life, I’ve been a walking fashion faux pas. Okay, so I don’t wear the same boring Liverpool shirt always. I change them! I’ll wear a Stevie shirt on Thursday, a Torres one on Friday, a Mascherano one Saturday, and if Liverpool’s playing on Sunday, I’ll wear a shirt with Rafa’s name on it, because there are chances that some idiot might score an own goal *hint* *hint* Riise!
Worst of all, how was I to know Fowler’s jersey isn’t regarded as a prom dress? I mean its Robbie Fowler’s jersey!
Damn sport , I’ll never forgive you for ruining my life. I will forever step on footballs, watch all the games so I can yell at TV screens, and curse you under my breath when telling people I cannot attend a party. Hear me? This is war!
by Jamie Uyeyama…
So why not take a look at the prospects for the Canadian Olympic hockey team in 2010? I know it is over 6 months from when they will name the team, but Bob Nicholson and others at Hockey Canada have to be at least thinking about it. Let the speculation begin.
Sure Things
I don’t know if any explanation is necessary for these guys so I will keep it brief. You can count on Iginla, Lecavelier, Crosby, Thornton, Nash, Morrow, Heatley, Getzlaf, Pronger, Phaneuf, Luongo, and Brian Campbell to be on the team (Scott Niedermayer would be a lock, but I would be shocked if he was still playing at that time). There would have to be something drastic to happen for them not to make it. Something like an injury, huge drop off in play, giving a huge cheap shot to the head of another player, things like that. Oh wait…that happened to someone and he made the team. Think about that for a second. The guy sucker punched a guy in the head and went through all of the things that went along with it. He also suffered a huge drop off in play and still made the Olympic team. This wouldn’t be as bad as if Latrell Sprewell was selected to the US basketball team after choking PJ Carlesimo, but taking Todd Bertuzzi was still a really, really bad move. So as long as these guys don’t do anything too stupid, they are pretty much guaranteed spots in 2010. That leaves five forwards, five defensemen, and two goalies left to choose for the squad.
“Confidence is high. Repeat, confidence is high.”
Shane Doan- Doan is a perfect fit. A guy who has a lot of international experience, still plays at a high level, and doesn’t have to play on the first two lines. Canada will be loaded up front with guys who can put the puck in the net, but don’t have enough skilled guys who are willing to do the extra. Doan is one of them.
Marty Brodeur- I ALMOST put him on the sure thing. The only reason I didn’t is because it is not a guarantee that he is going to be the number one guy this time. As of right now, he is still the guy that you would take if you had to win one game. He is the Tom Hanks of the NHL. Even if he doesn’t win an Academy Award, he always is in the running for one. Will he still be that guy a year and a half from now? I think he still will be, but it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that he won’t be. He isn’t getting any younger that’s for sure. He’s never been a guy who has relied on style to be successful so what happens when his reactions start to take a dive? I don’t know when that it is going to happen. It might not happen for another three or four years. Or it could happen in 2009. Or maybe he wants to take a break and concentrating on winning a fourth Cup instead of playing in a physically and emotionally draining tournament? We’ll have to see how it plays out.
Marty Turco- If he keeps playing like he did in the playoffs this year, then consider him a lock. If he ever wins a Cup or an Olympic Gold then I think it is safe to say that he will finally be considered a greater Michigan Wolverine than Paul “The Franchise” Fricker. Unless they decide to go with a young third goaltender, Turco will be in the top three.
Simon Gagner- He’s easy to forget because he missed almost the entire season last year with a concussion. He’s one of the few natural left wingers though for Canada to choose from that is good enough to play on the top two lines. Team Canada always seems to love the guys who have been in the system and he has been in the system for awhile now.
Mike Richards- Not since Woody joined the cast of Cheers has there ever been a more perfect match. He should fit in nicely in a checking role in the first go round with the big boys and could end up being a captain one day. If he had one more good year then he would be a definite. Expect him to have that this year.
Martin St. Louis- A guy who can easily fit in on one of the top lines and kill penalties. Everyone thought he was done a few years ago, but he has kept producing. You can’t throw out the fact that he has played for Team Canada a bunch of times. They always take that into account.
Eric Staal- A young elite player who could play center or shift to the wing. Plus, he gets bonus points for knowing how to party.
Robin Regehr- I know he was on the 2006 team and the last World Cup team, but so was Adam Foote. Foote’s not the same guy he once was. Regehr will most likely fill Foote’s role as shut down guy. There aren’t too many players in the NHL that are as good as him at strictly being a defensive presence. And nobody can grow a better playoff beard either. He could donate some of that facial hair to Crosby.
Dan Boyle- There are not enough D men who are right handed shots under consideration for this team. Throw that together with his ability to play on the power play and it looks good for him. The only question is how he is going to respond from his wrist injury this up coming season.
So right there we have our thirteen forwards and three goalies filled up. Obviously the the five d-men so far are big time players, but there are three spots remaining and it is wide open as of right now.
“Mmmmaybe I’ll see you later.”
There are plenty of guys to choose from for those last three spots. The Canadian defense is in a bit of transition phase with some young guys stepping forward that should one day replace Niedermayer, Foote, Pronger, and Blake. Here are the top candidates to pick from:
Mike Green (who led all NHL d-men in goals last year)
Ed Jovanovski
Brent Burns
Brent Seabrook
Braydon Coburn
Shea Weber
Wade Redden
Jay Bouwmeester
Redden seems to be regressing, so he’s out of the mix. Bouwmeester still hasn’t distinguished himself even though it seems he has been in the league for about fifteen years now. I would love to pick Jovanovski (especially since he had a career year last year), but he just can’t seem to stay healthy. That means it is a fight between the young kids to see who is going to make the team. It really all depends on how they play over the next year. If I was picking the team today I would go with Green, Burns, and Weber (which would also make a great name for a law firm or insurance company).
So here is how I have it.
1st Line: Lecavelier, Crosby, Iginla
2nd Line: Nash, Getzlaf, Heatley
3rd Line: Morrow, Richards, Doan
4th Line: Staal, Thornton, St. Louis
Gagne
1st pair: Phaneuf and Pronger
2nd pair: Campbell and Green
3rd pair: Boyle and Regehr
Weber and Burns
Brodeur, Luongo, and Turco between the pipes.
Think about that first line! I’m not saying that it is a Gretzky, Lemieux, Hawerchuk situation, but you’re not going to see too many lines that can match it. Or the second line for that matter. Even the fourth line is ridiculous.
Every team Canada puts out on the ice is a stacked ensemble of talent. The B team from Canada could contend for a medal at every major international competition. 2010 is a huge year for Canadian hockey bragging rights. The games are on our home turf and it could be the last Olympic games that NHL players participate in for a long time. The world isn’t going to end if we don’t win gold, but let’s just say it is in our best interest to do so. You have to like our chances with the team we are going to put out there.
Am I getting too far ahead of myself by trying to pick the Olympic team right now? I probably am. It’s never too early to dream though.
For more you can check out his blog Top Cheddar at www.topcheddar.com.
By The King of Roncesvalles…
The Captain and I decided to go and check out the Metro Life Fitness boot camp in the west end of Toronto, just off the main street of Roncevalles. We watched as a mixed group of participants sweated it out to a variety of music and a back to the basics approach to physical fitness. They began with a half hour of cardio work, followed by push ups, and a variety of resistance training, along with core work involving an exercise ball. Just by watching I think the Captain shed a few pounds. Emma Tunley and Sarah MacDougall each lead the class at times and also shared the roaming duties to ensure the form of their students was correct, providing the feeling of a personal training atmosphere in a group setting. Talking with one their students at the end of the class, a local guy, Dino, he remarked as he wiped some sweat from his brow, that this was a lot of fun almost like being back in high school Phys-Ed, along with how in this setting compared to a gym which he said grew stale fast, there was a lot more support, and motivation, and it was a great community activity, also that he had quit smoking since starting this program. Talking with Sarah and Emma, they told us that they offered free nutritional seminars with a naturopathic doctor to ensure that their students are aware of the importance of healthy eating, coupled with the physical training. The attractive duo mentioned that they stay away from complicated foot work and choreographed routines, yet create a tailor-made workout for the group and personalize the program for the individual, though feedback from their students and the knowledge they have from doing the activities along with the class. By the end of this conversation the Captain was motivated enough just by talking with these lovely ladies that he is joining up and going to give this boot camp a shot! Go get’um Captain! On a final note they told us that they stand by the ideals that you should eat well live well and exercise and that those were the keys to a healthy lifestyle. We’ll see how the Captain can cope! To find out more about Metro Life Fitness and the boot camp, you can check out their website, .com or refer to their ad in our magazine for further contact information. As I mentioned before, once I pry my ass out of the couch, I may have to get in on this boot camp business! All the best from the King of Roncesvalles in the New Year, get up and get motivated, join in and get fit!
By The King of Roncesvalles…
The New Year is here, and at the ever popular holiday season parties just past, we have all, most likely, over indulged in food and drink, I know I have! Now our bodies are paying the price, and a list of resolutions have been made that we vow not to break. In this day and age of busy life styles and fast food, getting, or keeping in shape should be at the top of that list. There are many ways of keeping yourself healthy, but the main ones are diet and exercise. I’ve played a number sports over the years, and the combination I’ve found that put me in the best shape, was one of weight lifting and boxing training, that was a few years back and many beers ago, mind you! Aspects of a boxer’s routine have found there way into almost all exercise programs. The high cardio and proven results have made these techniques quite popular with personal trainers and larger class style programs alike. Cabbagetown boxing club offers a wide array of courses and appropriate levels of training for the beginner right up to the professional, and have been doing it well since 1972. The personal trainer has also become a more available option such as is offered with Platinum Fitness, where they, “provide everything but the sweat”, taking personal training to a new level of excellence, and sporting an intimate environment, that allows them to provide the ultimate in total fitness. Boot camps also have become a popular choice amongst those ready to get motivated and in shape. Yoga is definitely another option, keeping the muscles and joints flexible in the early and later stages of life, along with offering a way of keeping a peaceful mind, with the belief that the mind and body are indeed connected in more ways than we think. Pilates studios have sprung up all over the place so there’s got to be something there to look at as well. You must understand that getting in shape doesn’t come in a pill or in a bottle, nor is there, by any means, a quick fix solution to true health or good physical conditioning. With so many routes to take, the first step is asking questions and finding out what might be right for your situation. Dedicating yourself and making the commitment, while having those around you keeping the motivation level high, are a couple keys to getting in shape for
by Taro Murata…If you are someone who is sick and tired of being a prisoner of the winter blues, I may have the answer for you. This is the time of the year when most people just want to stay inside; however you may feel much better if you get outside and give fishing a chance. There are many great fishing opportunities that Ontario has to offer this time of the year. If you live in Toronto and don’t want to travel too far, the Credit and Humber Rivers can be great places to catch Rainbow Trout. The Toronto Harbourfront is also a great place to catch Northern Pike. For the Rainbows I recommend small spinners, flatfish and roe bags under a float. As for the pike deadsticked Jerkbaits like Husky Jerks and Rogues are hard to beat this time of year. If the Toronto Harbour has too much ice and the local rivers are too dirty and unfishable, North York’s Wilcox Lake is a great place to ice fish for Pike and Crappie. For these pike I like using Mr. Champs and Cleo spoons tipped with minnows jigged just off of bottom. I also always have a Tip Up set with big 6-8 inch Sucker minnow’s on quick strike rigs. For the Crappie I like using a variety of small jigs heads tipped with maggots and small minnows fished throughout the whole water column, sometimes these panfish can be just underneath the ice so don’t be afraid to try fishing way off of the bottom.
If you don’t mind travelling a little further, Lake Simcoe offers world class ice fishing and is one of the most famous ice fishing lakes in the world. On Lake Simcoe, you can catch giant Lake Trout, Pike, Whitefish and Perch consistently but there are some spots where you can also catch some monster Walleye, Ling and Crappie. If you like to catch big fish Simcoe is the place and is the “ice fishing mecca” in eyes of most serious ice anglers. If being cold is not your thing, don’t worry because there are endless amounts of ice hut operators on Lake Simcoe that can help keep you fishing in your tank top, believe or not, lol!
If you want to travel a little further for some open water fishing, the Niagara River provides awesome all winter long river fishing for Steelhead, Lake Trout, Brown Trout and Walleye. You can fish from shore, hire a guide or even bring your own boat if you prefer. For the Niagara bottom, bounced roebags, minnows and flatfish on three way rigs are always good but you can also float fish if you please. Bring an assortment of lures because I have caught a ton of fish on spinners, crankbaits, spoons, jigs and swimbaits. There is such a great number of fish and species in the Niagara that its good to be prepared for anything that bites!
Now if you still are saying “I don’t have the equipment or the knowhow to get out there”, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line at [email protected], I run a professional all year round fishing guiding service and would be more than happy to take you fishing or if you just want to ask me some general “how to” questions I’d be happy to answer them!
Got to bounce for now, Lake Simcoe is on fire!!
and remember…….
Get Fish Or’ Die Tryin’ !
Taro Murata
http://www.fishcity.tv
http://www.wfn.tv/blog/Taro/
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